Christmas, Love and Heartache
by GleekForHemo
Summary: Santana spends every Christmas with her family. This Christmas, her brother, Miguel, brings home his new girlfriend. Santana is immediately attracted to her and before she knows it, she has fallen in love with the beautiful blonde. Will Brittany return the feelings? What will Santana's brother do? AU.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: _Hi :) I started working on this story years ago but I never finished it. I found inspiration recently and here we are. It won't be a long story, probably about ten chapters. I hope you'll like it.

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><p><strong>Christmas, Love and Heartache.<strong>

_Summary: Santana spends every Christmas with her family. This Christmas, her brother, Miguel, brings home his new girlfriend. Santana is immediately attracted to her and before she knows it, she has fallen in love with the beautiful blonde. Will Brittany return the feelings? What will Santana's brother do?_

**Chapter 1.**

Santana sighed as she waited for her luggage at the airport, impatiently glancing at her watch. Her parents were probably anxiously waiting to welcome her in the arrival hall. Every year around Christmas time her whole family stayed at her parents' house for about two weeks. According to her mom it was important to make time for family bonding.

After what seemed like forever she finally spotted her suitcase. She lifted it off the conveyor belt and was relieved to see her own handwriting on the name tag. She quickly made her way to the arrival hall and was greeted by a crowd of expectant faces.

Her mom waved to get her attention and a large smile appeared on her face when their eyes connected. Her father was holding a sign that read "welcome home mija" causing a lump to form in Santana's throat as her emotions suddenly overwhelmed her. She walked to where her parents were standing and stumbled into her mother's arms, surprised by how much she had actually missed her parents.

A few years ago she had made the decision to move to New York after she got offered an internship at a recording studio. At first the city life had been quite a shock for someone who grew up in a small town but once she had made some friends it hadn't taken her long to fully adjust. Being so far away from her family wasn't easy though and even though she would never admit it, she loved spending Christmas with them.

The entire drive home her mom shared all the gossip that had gone around town this year. Apparently, Ms. Kowitz from next door had divorced her husband after he had somehow run over their pet rat with the lawnmower. Santana couldn't stop laughing at this and her dad, after expressing his disapproval of gossiping, soon joined in.

Her dad turned the car into the driveway and turned off the engine. Before Santana had the chance to get out of the car, her mom turned around in her seat to face her.

"Mija, your brother is already waiting inside the house." Maribel told her seriously. Santana smiled at the thought of seeing her brother Miguel again. He still lived in Lima so they hardly spent time together and she had missed him a lot. She was just about to voice her thoughts when her mom added, "And he brought his new girlfriend."

Santana frowned in confusion. She didn't even know that he had been seeing someone. She couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed that he hadn't told her.

"We were surprised too." Her mom said as if she could read Santana's mind. "She seems to make him happy though so be nice."

Santana snapped her head up and glared at the older woman. Everybody knew that Santana could be a bitch sometimes but there was no reason to assume that she wouldn't be nice to her brother's girlfriend. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Her mom just gave her a funny look and got out of the car. Santana looked at her dad, waiting for an explanation, but Juan just winked at her and got out of the car as well. She sighed before she followed them, eager to meet the girl that had supposedly stolen her brother's heart. She rolled her suitcase into the house and as soon as she opened the door to the living room, she was attacked by Miguel. He pulled her into a bone crushing hug, knocking the breath out of her slender frame.

"I can't breathe!" She squeaked out as she struggled to get out of his arms.

"I missed you, sis." He grinned as he finally let go of her, taking a step backwards.

It was then that Santana noticed the woman that was standing behind him and her breath momentarily caught in her throat. Her blonde hair fell in waves down her shoulders and her eyes were a light shade of blue. She was beyond beautiful and Santana felt completely mesmerized by her. She extended her hand and Santana's cheeks heated up when she realized that she'd been gawking.

"It's nice to meet you Santana. I'm Brittany." The blonde said in a soft voice, her eyes lighting up as her lips curled into a shy smile. Her smile was breath-taking and Santana couldn't help but smile back.

"It's nice to meet you too." Santana replied in an unusual timid voice as she shook Brittany's hand. All her confidence seemed to have disappeared as she stared into the pair of beautiful blue eyes that were staring back at her with a kindness in them that melted her heart. She quickly retracted her hand and turned to her parents.

"When is the rest coming?" She asked, trying to turn the attention away from her. Luckily her mom started talking about the rest of the family enthusiastically and everybody listened. Except for Santana, her thoughts were still fixated on the blonde standing in front of her.

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><p>A while later, Santana was sitting on the couch, watching TV, when a wonderful smell filled the room. She got up and curiously made her way into the kitchen, following the mouth-watering smell of food. There were pots and pans everywhere and her mom's face was beaded with sweat from standing over the stove. She was preparing dinner for them and the rest of the family that'd be arriving in about 30 minutes. Santana smiled at the sight. Her mom was making a ridiculous amount of food, probably with the intention of showing off her amazing cooking skills like always.<p>

"Need any help?" She asked as she moved to stand next to her mom.

"Thanks honey, you can help me with the soup." Her mom looked at one of the pans and Santana nodded in understanding. She picked up a spoon and began to stir the soup slowly, trying to resist the urge to eat from it. She threw a quick glance at her mother, who seemed to be busy making paella, and lifted a spoon with soup towards her mouth.

"No tasting." Maribel's voice interrupted her.

"A good chef always tastes their food." Santana protested.

Her mom just arched an eyebrow at her. Santana sighed but obeyed as she continued to stir the soup.

"So how are things at work?" Her mom asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over them.

"Things are great." Santana replied "We signed up a new artist recently so we're working hard on writing songs."

"That's good, honey." Her mom told her with a small smile. "I saw an application for a job as a music teacher at the school just three blocks from here and I thought that maybe…"

Santana raised her hand in the air, signalling for her mom to stop talking. "Mom, we've already been over this. I'm not moving back here. I love New York."

Her mom sighed but didn't say anything else.

Ever since Santana had moved to New York, her mom had been trying to convince her to move back home. Santana could understand that her mom wanted her close but her life was in New York now and it was time for her mom to accept that. She was just about to say something when she heard a door slam shut.

"We're home!" A voice that Santana instantly recognized as her sister's announced. Three seconds later, a little boy ran into the kitchen and Santana smiled widely.

"Aunty Sanny!" Her little nephew, Tomas, called out. She lifted him off the ground and he squealed excitedly as she spun him around the room before gently putting him down again.

"What do you have there?" She asked, noticing the box in his hands.

"I made cookies!" Tomas said, bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.

"That's great." Santana said as she ruffled his hair.

"How is my favorite grandson?" Maribel asked, watching the exchange with a bright smile. Tomas was actually her only grandchild and she saw it as her duty to spoil him whenever he visited. "You look well, sweetheart."

"Grandma!" Tomas called out before throwing himself into his grandmother's arms. Maribel chuckled as she hugged the little boy back.

"It smells great in here." Sofia said as she walked into the kitchen, her husband following closely behind.

"I'm so happy you're all here!" Maribel said before calling out for Juan to come join them. When Juan entered the kitchen 5 seconds later, hugs and kisses were exchanged back and forth while everyone began to chat away happily.

Santana was just talking to Sofia when Miguel and Brittany entered the kitchen. A large smiled appeared on Miguel's face and he gave Sofia the same bone crushing kind of hug he had given Santana earlier that day. Brittany stood behind them awkwardly as she watched the interaction between the two siblings. After Miguel said hello to Jason and Tomas, he put his hand on Brittany's shoulder and introduced her to them.

"It's nice to meet you, Brittany." Sofia said. She looked at Brittany for a few seconds before slowly bobbing her head up and down. "You're very beautiful. I approve."

Brittany's cheeks turned red at the sudden compliment and she mumbled a quick "thank you". Santana shook her head and chuckled softly. Only Sofia would say something like that.

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><p>After dinner they all went to their rooms to unpack their bags. Santana smiled at the stuffed animal that was sitting on her bed, facing the door. Her mom must've put it there. She always carried it around when she was younger.<p>

She had just began to put her clothes in the drawers of her closet when she heard Brittany and Miguel laughing in the room next door. She felt her stomach churn in an unpleasant manner but quickly shook it off. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Her brother was finally happy and she wasn't going to ruin it for him.

She was in such deep thought that she almost didn't hear the door open behind her. She turned around to see her father walk in and shot him a smile. "Hi papi."

"Hi mija." Her dad replied in a soft voice, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "How are you?"

He patted the space next to him and Santana quickly sat down. She immediately understood what he wanted to talk about. After her last girlfriend had dumped her for another girl a while ago, Santana had been heart-broken. She had honestly believed that Morgan was the one for her so being thrown aside like that hurt more than anything. Much to her surprise, her dad had been the one to help her through that rough time. When she came out at home a few years ago, Juan hadn't bothered to hide his disapproval of homosexuality and it had hurt Santana deeply. But when Morgan left her, he had reached out to his daughter and they had worked together to recover their bond. Now they were closer than ever.

"I'm okay." Santana said, offering him a small smile. "It took some time but I've moved on."

He put his arm around her shoulders and nodded. "I'm glad, mija. You deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly. When the right girl comes along, you will know."

Santana looked up to meet her dad's eyes. "Is that how it went with mom?"

Juan's eyes lit up as a dreamy expression washed over his features. "I met your mother when I was 19 years old. I was performing at a restaurant with the band I used to be in. Our singer had a cold that day and after a few songs he lost his voice completely. We were about to leave, feeling beyond embarrassed, when your mom offered to sing for us." He paused, smiling at the memory. "She looked so beautiful and when she started singing I immediately fell in love. I could hardly remember the right chords and I messed up most of the songs but it didn't matter because I knew that I had found the love of my life."

Santana had tears in her eyes when he finished the story. "That's so sweet."

Her dad kissed the top of her head. "You will come to pick out the Christmas tree tomorrow, right?" He asked as he stood up. Santana nodded. Picking out the Christmas tree together had become a tradition and she wouldn't miss it for anything. Juan smiled, clearly pleased with her answer, and made his way towards the door. He glanced over his shoulder and said, "Maybe we can ask Brittany to join us, it'd be a nice opportunity to get to know her better and welcome her to the family."

Santana felt her heart jump at the thought of spending the day with the beautiful blonde. She nodded. "Sure."

Her dad smiled at her and left her room. Santana sat there for another moment, trying to calm her racing heart. She didn't know why the thought of spending time with Brittany had this much effect on her. She hardly even knew her. Shaking her head at herself, she pushed herself upright and continued to unpack her clothes.

When she was finished, she walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. Just as she had almost reached the door, Brittany suddenly stepped out of her and Miguel's room, bumping into Santana. The brunette quickly grabbed the taller woman's shoulders to keep the both of them upright, their faces only inches apart now.

"I'm so sorry." Brittany apologized, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

Santana swallowed thickly, finding herself unable to breathe with Brittany being so close to her. Light freckles dusted her face and her eyes were so incredibly blue and clear, Santana was certain she could get lost in them. She realized that she had been staring and awkwardly cleared her throat, quickly taking a step backwards.

"Don't worry about it." She said reassuringly, running her hand through her hair as she tried to think of a way to make things less uncomfortable. Brittany bit her lip and nodded silently, making Santana groan internally because _why did she have to be so cute?_ Taking a deep breath, she finally asked, "So, how are you liking it here so far?"

A small smile formed on Brittany's lips. "Your family is really nice."

"You say that now." Santana returned the smile, shoving her hands into her pockets. "But they can be a handful sometimes, never knowing when to slow down. You'll be dying for a moment of peace and quiet by the end of the week."

Brittany was silent for a moment and then sighed somewhat sadly. "I doubt it."

Santana looked at her in confusion but decided not to question it. Instead, she gestured towards the bathroom. "Well, I have to… you know…" She trailed off, feeling a little embarrassed. Brittany simply giggled and the sound was like music to Santana's ears. Hit by a sudden wave of confidence, she grinned and asked, "Do you maybe want to join me for a cup of tea downstairs?"

"Sure." Brittany replied, causing Santana's heart to flutter happily in her chest. "I'd love to get to know Miguel's sister better."

With that, Santana's smile dropped as reality set in. She wasn't supposed to be looking at Brittany this way. She was her brother's girlfriend and that was the end of it. Shrugging off the sad feeling that had taken over her body, she nodded. "I'll be right down."

"Okay." Brittany said, shooting her one last smile before walking passed her.

Santana sighed and quickly made her way into the bathroom.

When she came downstairs a little while later, she found Brittany sitting at the table in the kitchen, looking out the window. She silently approached the blonde and took a seat next to her. She pursed her lips in thought before deciding on what to say. "What are you thinking about?"

Brittany looked at her and shook her head, pushing a mug in her direction. "Nothing. Here, I already made us tea."

"Thank you." Santana said, wrapping her hands around the warm mug. "Where's Miguel?"

"He's on the phone with a friend." Brittany explained, shifting slightly in her seat to get more comfortable. "So tell me all about yourself, Santana Lopez."

Santana smiled shyly and looked down at her hands. "There's not that much to tell."

"Well, what do you do for a living?" Brittany asked, wanting to make things easier for her.

"My friend and I both co-write and produce songs for Schuester's records." Santana explained, her eyes lightening up. She had always been extremely passionate about music and she could honestly say that this was her dream job. "Have you ever heard of it?"

"Of course I have." Brittany smiled, tilting her head in thought. "Wait, how old are you?"

"I just turned 23." Santana replied with a smirk.

"That's impressive." Brittany beamed at her.

"Thank you." Santana ducked her head, feeling shy again. It was true, Mercedes and her were one of the youngest to be working at the studio full-time. Her eyes met bright blue ones again and she felt her stomach flip in the best possible way. "What about you?"

Brittany's face scrunched up in confusion. "What about me?"

"How old are you?" Santana clarified, looking at her in adoration.

"Oh!" Brittany exclaimed, realization washing over her features. "I'm 23 too."

Santana nodded and was just about to ask her another question when the kitchen door opened and her dad walked in. Her jaw snapped shut as she fought the urge to glare at him. She knew she was being ridiculous but she hadn't wanted her conversation with Brittany to end just yet.

"Is everything okay?" Juan asked, noticing the tense look on his daughter's face. He narrowed his eyes and looked at her questioningly. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Not at all." Brittany shot him a small smile, moving to get up. "Do you want some tea too, Mr. Lopez?"

"Don't be silly." Juan chuckled, gesturing for her to sit back down. "I can get some myself but thank you for offering."

Brittany nodded, the blush on her face spreading all the way to her ears, as she sat back down again. She looked at Santana who was scowling out the window and frowned in confusion, reaching out to place her hand on the brunette's arm. "Is everything okay?"

Santana hesitated for a second but then forced a smile on her face. "Everything's fine."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: _Thanks for the reviews/follows/favorites :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 2.<strong>

When Santana made her way into the kitchen the next morning, she was welcomed by the smell of coffee. It was still pretty early so she hadn't expected anyone to be awake but Brittany was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book. She tried to see what book it was but she couldn't get a good look at the cover. Brittany didn't seem to notice her presence so she subtly cleared her throat to get her attention. She looked up, seemingly startled, but her eyes softened at the sight of Santana.

"Good morning." Santana greeted her with a soft smile "You're up early."

"I'm an early riser." Brittany returned the smile.

"Me too." Santana replied as she helped herself to a cup of coffee. She felt Brittany's eyes on her and it made her a little nervous. She quickly sat down next to Brittany and broke the silence. "What are you reading?" Brittany blushed a little and averted her gaze to the table. Santana chuckled at how adorable she looked. "It can't be that bad."

Blue eyes met hers again and Santana gave her an encouraging nod. Brittany sighed. "It's 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'." She finally said, holding up the book to show Santana the cover. They looked at each other for a second before both women burst out laughing.

When their laughter finally subsided Santana was sure that everyone in the house was awake now.

"Can you explain your choice for this masterpiece of literature?" She asked with a fake posh accent. Brittany laughed and it made Santana's heart flutter in her chest, it was truly the most adorable laugh she had ever heard.

"I don't know." Brittany said with a shrug. "I just really like Christmas."

Santana nodded. She had never really cared much for Christmas before she moved to New York but now the few weeks with her family meant the world to her. "Don't your parents mind that you won't be spending Christmas with them?" She asked curiously.

Brittany's face fell at her question and she nervously began to chew on her lip. Santana frowned at the strange reaction and was just about to backtrack when Brittany spoke up. "My parents both died 5 years ago."

Santana's eyes widened in horror. "I'm so sorry." She covered Brittany's hand with her own in an attempt to offer her some comfort. She mentally cursed herself for asking the question in the first place. She didn't want Brittany to be sad. "I shouldn't have asked."

"You don't have to apologize." Brittany said, giving her an assuring smile. "You didn't know."

Santana nodded and was silent for a moment, trying to think of something to say. She didn't want to upset the blonde more so she figured changing the subject would be the best thing to do. "Papi and I will be picking out the Christmas tree today." She finally said. "Would you like to join us?"

Brittany's face instantly lit up and her eyes sparkled. "I'd love to."

Before Santana could say anything else, Tomas shuffled into the kitchen. He yawned and sleepily rubbed his eyes with one hand, scratching his belly with the other one. Santana smiled in adoration and quickly pulled her hand away from Brittany's. "Good morning." She greeted her nephew kindly. "Where are your mom and dad?"

"Sleeping." The boy simply replied as he walked over to Santana.

Santana lifted him off the ground and sat him down on her lap, resting her chin on his head. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"I could make us all pancakes." Brittany suggested. Tomas instantly perked up and erupted in cheers and claps, earning an amused look from both Santana and Brittany. She stood up with a smile and walked over to the cabinets to find the right ingredients. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Did I hear someone say pancakes?" Juan asked as he walked into the kitchen with an overjoyed look on his face. His wife had the habit of waking up late most mornings and since he wasn't a very good cook it had been years since he last eaten pancakes for breakfast.

"Do you want some too, Mr. Lopez?" Brittany asked politely.

"You don't have to ask me that twice." He nodded happily. "And please call me Juan or dad or papi or anything other than Mr. Lopez."

"Okay Mr. Lopez." Brittany said automatically, blushing as soon as the words left her mouth. "I mean Juan."

Juan smiled and took a seat next to his daughter and his grandson. "So, are we ready to pick out a Christmas tree?" He asked. This resulted in another round of claps and cheers from Tomas and everybody's laughter filled the kitchen.

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><p>Two hours later they were all standing in front of the tree that Tomas had picked out. The tree was oddly shaped and there was a bald spot near the bottom but no one protested. Santana was too distracted by Brittany to say anything. She was dressed head-to-toe in winter clothing and still managed to look absolutely beautiful. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and her long blonde hair was covered with a thin layer of snowflakes. She was adorable. Santana struggled to keep her eyes off her.<p>

"How are we going to get it home?" Brittany's soft voice finally brought her back to reality.

Santana smiled at the confused look on her face. She knew exactly what she was thinking, the tree was quite big and carrying it to the car was definitely out of the question. "They deliver the trees." She explained.

"For free?" Brittany asked, looking even more confused now. She had heard of trees being delivered at people's homes but as far as she knew it was quite expensive.

"Well, it is if you know the right people." Santana said, shooting her a playful wink.

"Is that so?" Brittany asked in an amused tone, flashing Santana one of her signature smiles that made her heart skip a beat.

"Yup." Santana simply replied. She walked after her dad and Tomas who were already making their way through the rows of trees. She threw a quick glance over her shoulder and smiled at the puzzled look on Brittany's face. The truth was that her father's best friend owned the place, hence the free delivery.

But she wasn't going to tell Brittany that.

When they got home, the rest of the family was sitting in the living room, watching TV. Tomas was exhausted and agreed to take a nap after he made his mom promise him that he could help decorate the tree later. It turned out that they were watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and this caused Santana and Brittany to burst out laughing.

They ignored the weird looks that they received.

They watched the rest of the movie together but Santana couldn't focus on it at all. Brittany was curled up next to Miguel on the couch and she couldn't deny the feeling of jealousy that coursed through her veins. She knew that it was wrong to feel that way but she couldn't help herself, Brittany was just so damn beautiful.

After the movie ended, her mom and Sofia disappeared into the kitchen to make dinner. Tomas had woken up from his nap and was staring out the window, waiting for the tree to be delivered. Meanwhile, Santana and Brittany were going back and forth between the basement and the main floor, carrying boxes with Christmas decorations.

"How'd you like the movie?" Santana asked while lifting one of the last remaining boxes.

"I've only seen it about ten times." Brittany answered, mimicking Santana's action. "It's not as good as the book though."

"I see." Santana replied in an amused tone. Brittany winked at her and her movements faltered slightly as her knees momentarily weakened. She cleared her throat and quickly composed herself. "So what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a dance instructor." Brittany said and Santana noticed the way her eyes lit up. She could tell that she truly loved her job and that made her happy. "You like to dance too, right?"

"Well, I guess I did in high school but I'm glad that Miguel _did _tell you about his awesome sister." Santana said, letting out a soft chuckle. Brittany's face scrunched up in confusion but it was quickly replaced with a look of hurt when she understood what Santana was saying.

"He didn't tell you about me?"

Santana felt her heart break at the sad look on Brittany's face and she quickly scrambled to fix it. "I'm sure that he had his reasons." She shrugged. "He has never brought anyone home before so he obviously cares about you a lot."

Brittany smiled a little at Santana's words. "You think so?"

"Absolutely." Santana tried to ignore the sad feeling that squeezed her heart. The more she talked to Brittany, the more she started to like her. She knew that she couldn't though so she tried to push her feelings away and forced a smile on her face. "I've never seen him this happy."

Brittany seemed pleased with the answer. She smiled widely at Santana before making her way upstairs. Santana took a deep breath and shook her head at herself before following the other woman.

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><p>About two hours later, everyone was admiring the beautifully decorated tree. Jason lifted his son in the air and Tomas carefully placed the star on top to make the tree complete. Santana looked over at Brittany and felt her heart melt. The Christmas lights reflected off the woman's blue eyes, making them sparkle even more. Santana couldn't tear her eyes away from the beautiful blonde. Brittany suddenly turned her head towards Santana and their eyes locked.<p>

Santana felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. She didn't know how long they stared at each other but it felt like an eternity. It wasn't until Miguel appeared next to Brittany that Santana forced herself to look away. A wave of guilt washed over her. She shouldn't be having these thoughts about Brittany. She was her brother's girlfriend for God's sake.

After dinner, Brittany and Sofia offered to clean up and Sofia saw this as an opportunity to tell Brittany embarrassing stories about Santana's childhood. Normally Santana would've made her shut up but the stories made Brittany laugh and Santana liked hearing her laugh.

"Were you two close as children?" Brittany asked Sofia.

"Not really. I'm almost ten years older than Santana so I mostly just saw her as my annoying little sister." Sofia said with a shrug. "I still do sometimes."

"What?" Santana placed her hand on her chest, feigning heartbreak.

"I'm just kidding." Sofia laughed, bumping Santana's shoulder with her own. "I love my baby sister."

They continued to chat for a while and Santana was happy to see that Sofia and Brittany got along so well. After they had finished cleaning up, Santana turned to Sofia. "Would it be alright if I go ice-skating with Tomas tomorrow?"

"Oh I love ice-skating." Brittany exclaimed excitedly.

Santana couldn't help but smile at the look on her face. "You should come with us." She said without a moment of hesitation. She looked at her sister and added, "If it's okay with you of course."

"Sure." Sofia said, smiling at her sister.

Brittany bit her lip and hesitated. "I wouldn't want to intrude or something like that."

"Don't be silly. Tomas would love it if you joined us." Santana placed her hand on Brittany's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The hesitant look on Brittany's face didn't disappear so she quickly continued. "And so would I."

She could swear that Brittany's face lit up at those words but maybe her mind was just playing tricks on her.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Brittany echoed, more confidently this time.

"Awesome." Santana said, not bothering to hide her excitement.

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><p>The next day, they made it to the ice-skating rink after breakfast. It was an outdoor rink and although she was dressed in warm winter clothes, Santana was still freezing. Her eyes landed on a stand where you could buy food and drinks and she offered to get them a cup of hot chocolate.<p>

While Santana waited for her order, Brittany helped Tomas into a pair of rental skates. Santana watched the two in adoration. Brittany was so patient and caring with the boy. It was endearing to see. When the skates were on Tomas' feet, he smiled at Brittany and made his way onto the ice. Brittany watched him carefully and told him to stay close.

Santana made her way back to Brittany and handed her one of the cups. Brittany thanked her and they watched Tomas for a while. He turned out to be a natural and they admired him as he moved across the ice easily. When they finished their drinks, they decided to join the boy.

"I've never done this before." Santana admitted nervously as she put on a pair of skates.

"I'll help you." Brittany said, giving her an encouraging smile.

A few minutes later they were both ready and Brittany was the first one to step onto the ice. Santana was surprised at how easily the blonde kept her balance. She inhaled nervously before stepping onto the ice as well. She almost slipped but Brittany kept her upright by holding onto her waist. Santana felt an electric wave go through her body at the touch and for a moment she couldn't breathe. Brittany didn't let go of her until she was certain that the brunette was steady. She smiled encouragingly and watched as Santana began to move her feet. Slowly but steadily, she moved across the ice and a grin crept onto her face when she realized that she was actually ice skating.

Brittany followed her at a close distance and smiled proudly. "See it isn't so hard."

"I guess not." Santana replied, blushing a little. "How come you're so good at this?" She asked, noticing how she skated around the rink very easily, even adding small spins every now and then.

"I used to go ice skating a lot when I was younger." Brittany explained. "My dad would take me to the rink almost every weekend."

Santana noticed how her face lit up at the memory. She silently debated whether or not to ask about her parents. Curiosity eventually got the best of her. "I hope you don't mind me asking this but what happened to your parents?"

Brittany's eyes flickered down to the ice and Santana became a little angry with herself, thinking that she had upset the woman once again. She was already thinking of ways to apologize when Brittany looked up. "They were in a car accident." She said softly. "I had just turned 18 when it happened and it crushed me. I gave up on dancing. I basically gave up on everything. My aunt took me in and she really helped me through it. After a while I picked up dancing again and got a job at a dance studio. It's still hard sometimes but I learned how to deal with it."

Santana nodded sympathetically. Brittany was so sweet to everyone and it made her sad to think that she had been through so much. She placed a comforting hand on the blonde's arm. "I'm sorry to hear that, Britt."

Brittany gave her a small smile but didn't say anything. They continued to skate across the ice in a comfortable silence.

"So you don't have any siblings?" Santana asked after a while.

"I have an older sister, Casey. She lives in L.A so I hardly ever see her." Brittany told her softly. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "But enough about me. Tell me about you. What's it like living in New York?"

"It's pretty great." Santana smiled. "I live with my best friend Quinn. Our apartment is small and we can get on each other's nerves sometimes but we make it work."

"That's awesome. So you don't have a boyfriend?"

"No." Santana shook her head. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip, apparently Miguel hadn't mentioned that his sister was a lesbian.

"How can a cool girl like you not have a boyfriend?" Brittany asked, oblivious to Santana's inner turmoil.

Santana felt her heart drop to her stomach, completely missing the compliment. She had never made a secret of her sexuality. In fact, she was proud of who she was and never cared about what other people thought of her. But for some reason, she did care about Brittany's opinion. Brittany was looking at her expectantly so Santana finally blurted out, "I'm gay."

She looked away and nervously waited for a reaction.

"Oh okay." Brittany said casually. "Do you have a girlfriend then?"

Santana sighed in relief when Brittany didn't show any signs of homophobia. She smiled and shook her head at the question. "Nope." She, again, could swear that Brittany's face lit up at that moment but her mind was probably playing tricks on her again.

They sped up their pace a little and skated across the ice in silence. Santana was so lost in thought that she forgot to pay attention and suddenly lost her balance. Brittany reacted like a ninja and quickly wrapped her arms around the smaller woman to hold her up. Santana felt her breath catch in her throat and looked up at Brittany who was staring down at her.

"You okay?" The blonde asked softly, not letting go of her. Santana just nodded. She couldn't think straight with Brittany being so close to her. She could smell Brittany's sweet perfume and it made her head spin.

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity until Brittany finally let go and backed away. Santana awkwardly cleared her throat and tried to think of something to say when Tomas came skating in their direction.

"Hi sweetie." Brittany ruffled the boy's hair. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Yes." Tomas said with a toothy grin. "Wanna race?"

"Sure thing." Brittany smiled.

Santana watched in amusement as the two skated across the ice. It was obvious to Santana that Brittany was holding back speed so that Tomas would win the race. The sight was adorable and Santana couldn't help but smile widely.

* * *

><p>A while later, they had changed back into their shoes and decided to grab something to eat before heading home.<p>

"So am I officially a good ice skater now?" Santana asked before taking a bite out of her burger.

"Definitely." Brittany replied. "Are you sure this was your first time?"

"Who knows." Santana shrugged playfully.

"I see. You just wanted some attention from me, huh?" Brittany smirked. "I can't blame you though. I mean, look at me."

"So much for being modest." Santana shook her head in fake disapproval. Tomas mumbled something incoherently and they turned to look at the boy. He was hungrily eating his burger and there was sauce smudged all over his face. They both laughed as Santana gently removed the sauce with a napkin. "You're acting as if you haven't eaten in days."

Brittany smiled at the two and lifted a fry to her mouth. "Do you ever miss the small town life?"

"No way." Santana huffed. "Believe me, once you've been to New York, you never want to leave."

Brittany nodded thoughtfully. "Sometimes I wish that I was as brave as you."

"What do you mean?" Santana asked, softening her tone when she saw the troubled expression on Brittany's face.

"It's just that…" Brittany paused, trying to find the right words. "Sometimes I just want to pack my bags and move to the big city too, you know? There are so many opportunities there. I love my job here but sometimes I wish I could aim higher." She sighed and looked away. "But I could never do that. I have a life here. I have Miguel…"

Santana nodded in understanding. She knew that Miguel loved living in Lima and wouldn't give it up for the world. She released a small sigh and reached out to grab Brittany's hand, feeling the resulting tingles from the touch travel all the way down her spine. "You can always come visit me some time if you want. I can show you around."

The corners of Brittany's eyes crinkled as she smiled widely. "I'd love that."

Santana felt her breath hitch slightly, her heart-beat speeding up. She held onto Brittany's hand for a short moment longer before she reluctantly let go of it. Turning to her nephew, she gently brushed some of his messy hair aside. "Did you have a nice day?"

Tomas nodded enthusiastically and Santana dared a glance at Brittany who was wearing a similar expression on her face. She breathed out a soft laugh and decided to just enjoy the rest of the day and not worry about anything else.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: _Thanks for your nice words :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3.<strong>

Santana let out a frustrated sigh and glanced at her alarm clock. It was 3 AM and she couldn't sleep. After tossing and turning for a little while longer, she finally gave up and got out of bed. In need of some fresh air, she headed downstairs where she put on her coat before stepping out onto the front porch. She shivered when the cold air washed over her and felt goosebumps spread across her skin. It was snowing lightly and the moon was barely visible through the clouds. The sight was absolutely beautiful but she couldn't bring herself to fully enjoy it.

Soon her mind wandered off to Brittany. Again. Every time she looked into those bright blue eyes she felt something that she had never felt before and it scared her. Was it possible to fall in love this fast? She quickly pushed the thought away. She couldn't be falling in love with Brittany. She could never hurt her brother like that and besides, Brittany would never be interested in her. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment.

"San?" A soft voice suddenly called out from behind her, causing her to jump slightly. She turned around to see Brittany standing there with an apologetic smile on her face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay." Santana assured her.

"You couldn't sleep?" Brittany asked as she walked closer to her.

"No, I gave up and decided to get some fresh air. What about you?"

"Yeah me too." Brittany sighed.

It was only then that Santana noticed how sad the other woman looked and she frowned in concern. "Hey, are you okay?"

Brittany looked down at her feet, avoiding eye-contact. Santana felt her heart clench in her chest and patiently waited for the blonde to speak up. Seeing Brittany sad was just so wrong. "It's just that… Miguel and I got into a fight last night." Brittany said after a while.

Santana clenched her jaw. "What happened?"

"We were supposed to go Christmas shopping tomorrow, or well, today." Brittany explained softly. Santana felt a wave of jealousy go through her but she tried not to let it show. "But he forgot and made plans to hang out with some old friends from high school. I got angry and we started arguing. I was probably just being stupid."

"Don't say that." Santana told her firmly. She turned towards Brittany and placed her hand on her shoulder. "If anyone's being stupid, it's Miguel for rather spending time with his friends than with you." Brittany smiled and Santana once again found herself being unable to breathe. She hesitated for a few seconds before adding, "We can go to the mall together."

Santana suddenly felt insecure. Maybe Brittany didn't want to go with her and that would just be awkward. She stared at her, nervously waiting for an answer.

"Are you sure?" Brittany tilted her head.

Santana subtly released a relieved sigh and nodded in response, trying to play it cool. "Of course. I need to buy some things anyway."

"Okay great." Brittany smiled widely.

Santana nodded and moved closer to her until their shoulders were almost touching. She watched as their breaths left their mouths in small puffs as a result of the cold. Silence fell over them. It wasn't an awkward silence. It was a comfortable one. It felt right to be here with Brittany, simply enjoying each other's company.

"San?" Brittany called out softly after a while. The brunette hummed to let her know that she was listening and she took a deep breath before asking, "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Santana's heart skipped a beat. "Why?"

"I was just wondering." Brittany mumbled, her cheeks turning red as she glanced away.

"I've always said that there's no such thing as love at first sight." Santana answered the question truthfully, her eyes glued to the side of Brittany's face to see her reaction. "Only attraction at first sight."

"Oh." Brittany breathed out, her features twisting into an unhappy frown.

Santana looked at her for another moment, trying to figure out what she was thinking. She closed the remaining distance between them and bumped Brittany's shoulder with her own, coaxing her to look up. Blue eyes met hers and she felt herself getting lost in them again as she spoke softly. "But I'm starting to doubt myself."

The corners of Brittany's mouth quirked up into a small smile. Her eyes flickered down to Santana's lips and lingered there. Santana held her breath. She felt vulnerable under Brittany's intense gaze, it was like she could see right through her, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. In the depths of Brittany's eyes, Santana saw more emotions than she could track. She felt mesmerized by her and in a moment of weakness she found herself wondering what it would be like to touch her. To really touch her.

But the moment was over quickly as Brittany turned away from her. "We should head back inside."

Her voice came out in a soft whisper but Brittany could hear it. "I wish we didn't have to."

The smile that Brittany offered her was so sad that Santana felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

It was way past midnight when her head hit her pillow and she finally fell into a troubled sleep, images of Brittany floating through her mind.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the mall the next day, Santana immediately noticed how crowded it was. It seemed like they weren't the only ones to do some late Christmas shopping. Luckily they only had to buy her parents a present since her parents always took care of the presents for everyone else. Normally Santana would've made her way through the mall as quickly as possible but she didn't mind being here at all now that Brittany was with her.<p>

They worked their way through the crowd of people and began their task to find something for Maribel and Juan. After a little while, they came across a perfume shop and headed inside. They looked around, sticking closely together, until Brittany picked up a dark blue bottle.

"I love this one." She said softly, handing the bottle to Santana. "Do you think your mom will like it?"

Santana brought the bottle to her nose and smelled the contents. The perfume smelled really good. It reminded her of the Spring. "I'm sure she will." She said as she handed the bottle back to Brittany. The taller woman smiled and continued to look around. She picked up a bottle filled with a golden liquid and smelled it. Her brow creased in thought and Santana smiled adoringly. "What is it?"

Brittany's eyes flickered from the two bottles to Santana and back. "Is your mom a Spring person or a Winter person?"

Santana couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her throat. "I don't know, Britt. Just pick the one that _you_ like best. You always smell good." Her eyes widened as soon as the words left her mouth. She realized how weird it was to say something like that and her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

Luckily, Brittany just smiled at her. "Thanks San." She said before putting the bottle with the golden liquid back on the shelf. "We have a winner then."

After paying for the dark blue bottle, they went to a few other stores and bought more presents. As they walked through the busy mall, Brittany suddenly linked their arms together and Santana felt butterflies erupt in her stomach. She inhaled deeply and tried to keep a blank expression on her face, not wanting Brittany to know how much effect a simple action like this had on her. She knew she was acting ridiculous and she mentally slapped herself for it but she couldn't help it.

They decided to buy an extra present for Tomas and walked into a children's store

"These are so cute." Brittany said excitedly as she held up a pair of Superman pajama's. "It even has a cape."

Santana smiled and walked closer to her. "I can understand why you're Tomas's favorite aunt."

"I am?" Brittany asked in a disbelieving voice.

"Hmm." Santana hummed. "I think he has a crush on you."

"What? Why do you think that?" Brittany asked, letting out a soft chuckle.

"He's always around you and he makes you drawings with hearts and stuff." Santana explained. It was true, during their stay Brittany had already received about ten drawing from the boy. "It's cute."

Brittany's nose scrunched up in thought before she smiled a bit. "You have a point there."

The blonde decided to buy the pajama's and they came to the conclusion that they had bought enough presents. Santana didn't quite want the day to end yet so when she spotted a coffee shop, she didn't let the opportunity pass. "How about a cup of coffee?"

Brittany's face lit up. "Sure."

About ten minutes later they were sitting at a table in the corner. Santana brought her cup of coffee to her lips and blew on the hot liquid before taking a sip. She could feel Brittany's eyes on her and set her cup down again, arching a questioning eyebrow at her. "What?"

A deep blush spread across Brittany's cheeks and she shyly glanced down at her hands. "Nothing."

Santana looked at her skeptically but decided to let it go. "I got you something."

"You did?" Brittany asked, her eyes lighting up. "What is it?"

Santana took the present that she had gotten while Brittany was busy out of the bag and handed it to her. Brittany quickly unwrapped it and a beaming smile lit up her face when she saw the item inside. It was a duck with a Santa hat on its head and if you pushed the button on one of its feet a Christmas song would start to play. Brittany had told Santana about her love for ducks when they were having lunch at the ice-skating rink. It endeared Santana how innocent and child-like Brittany could be at times.

"It's so cute." Brittany cooed, hugging the duck to her chest. "I love it. Thanks San."

"You're very welcome." Santana replied.

"How did you manage to buy this without me noticing?" Brittany wondered out loud.

Santana smirked and casually shrugged her shoulders. "You'll never know."

Brittany rolled her eyes at the brunette and pushed the button on the duck's foot. 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town' started to play rather loudly and everyone in the coffee shop looked at them. If she had been there with anyone else, Santana would've hidden under the table out of embarrassment but at the moment she couldn't bring herself to care about the people around them. Instead, she tilted her head in adoration and took a sip of her coffee, smiling softly at the happy expression on Brittany's face.

* * *

><p>That evening, Tomas basically dragged Brittany outside to play in the snow. Santana stood on the porch and watched as the two were having a snowball fight. It was truly the most adorable sight ever and she couldn't stop smiling. She sighed happily and looked away for a split second when her stomach was suddenly hit by a handful of snow. She gasped in shock and looked up to see Brittany staring at her with a devilish smirk on her face. "Britt, you didn't!"<p>

"I just did." Brittany shrugged, a playful smile on her face. "What are you going to do about it?"

"You're so going to get it now." Santana threatened as she bent down to gather as much snow as she could in her hands. Realization dawned upon Brittany's face and before Santana had the chance to throw the snowball at her, she had already sprinted off. Santana didn't hesitate and quickly ran after her.

Brittany's legs were longer so she was a lot faster than Santana. When Santana finally managed to catch up with her, she threw her arms around her waist and tackled her to the ground, making sure that they landed on a soft pile of snow. The two of them wrestled for a while until Santana finally got the upper hand, straddling Brittany's hips and pinning her arms above her head.

"I surrender!" Brittany squeaked out through her giggles.

Santana smiled in victory and let go of her, staying in position. She bit her lip as Brittany's bright blue eyes bore into hers and lifted her hand to brush some blonde hair out of her face, running her fingers over a cold, pale cheek in the process. Her heart was hammering in her chest and Brittany seemed to have stopped breathing altogether. Santana wanted to kiss her so badly but before she had the chance to decide on anything, a snowball hit her on the back of her head. She groaned and looked up just in time to see Tomas run away.

She quickly stood up, extending her hand to help Brittany to her feet as well before running after her nephew. When she caught up with him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hoisted him into the air, eliciting a surprised squeal. She spun him around and tickled his sides, making him giggle until he had tears in his eyes.

"Tell me you're sorry!" She demanded.

"Sanny!" Tomas yelled out through his laughs. "I'm sorry!"

Santana smirked in satisfaction and slowly put him down on the ground, ruffling his hair. He ducked his head and grinned toothily before rushing inside the house. Santana's eyes met Brittany's who was watching them from a distance and she shot her a warm smile, cocking her head to the side, silently asking her if she wanted to go inside as well. Brittany nodded and began to walk in her direction.

"Tomas is really cute." The blonde said once she was by Santana's side.

Santana nodded. "He likes you a lot."

Brittany smiled shyly but didn't say anything.

* * *

><p>During dinner everybody was smiling and chatting away but Santana noticed that there was something off about Brittany. Santana studied her face intently in attempt to find out what she was feeling. She smiled every now and then but the action seemed forced, her eyes were downcast and they didn't sparkle like they usually did. Santana wanted to ask her what was wrong but she felt like it wasn't any of her business.<p>

When they finished eating, everyone gathered in the living room to watch a movie. Brittany and Santana were seated on a rug in front of the fireplace, covered by a blanket and each sipping from a cup of hot chocolate that Maribel had made them. Sofia returned from putting Tomas in bed and plopped down on the couch next to her husband. "He was exhausted. He fell asleep before I could read him a story."

"It's probably because of all the excitement." Jason replied, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Yeah." Sofia agreed as her eyes found Brittany's. "He specifically asked me to tell you good night."

"Someone's developing a little crush." Maribel said, earning a few hums of agreement.

"Well, tell him to stay away from my girl." Miguel said, causing another round of laughs to erupt in the room. Santana didn't find it funny though. A feeling of guilt washed over her. Her eyes locked with Brittany's and she noticed that the blonde wore a similar expression on her face. It was then that Santana realized that maybe her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her at all and Brittany felt something for her too.

She didn't want to think about it right now though. She stood up and mumbled a few words of good night to her family before hurriedly making her way upstairs, ignoring the questioning looks that were thrown at her. She decided that maybe a hot shower would take her mind off things and quickly undressed herself. She turned on the water and stepped underneath it. Relaxation took over, allowing her mind to go blank.

About ten minutes later, she had just gotten changed into some more comfortable clothes when her phone rang. Without looking at the caller ID, she picked up with a soft, "Hello?"

"Who died?"

Santana frowned at Quinn's question. "What?"

"Why do you sound so sad?" Quinn asked worriedly.

"Oh it's nothing." Santana sighed as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Don't lie to me, Santana." Quinn told her in a serious tone. "I can hear there's something wrong."

"I swear it's nothing." Santana insisted, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. She hated that Quinn knew her so well. She took a deep breath and continued before Quinn had the chance to ask her any more questions. "Why are you calling?"

"Do I need a reason to call my best friend?" Quinn asked sternly, but Santana could hear the playful tone in her voice. She simply rolled her eyes and decided to stay quiet. "I just wanted to check up on you to see how you are."

"I'm fine." Santana mumbled.

"Okay, cut the bullshit already. What's going on?"

Santana sighed and briefly closed her eyes. She knew that there was no point in lying to Quinn since she could always see right through her anyway. Opening her eyes again, she finally blurted out, "My brother has a girlfriend."

"Okay." Quinn said slowly, obviously confused. "And this is a bad thing how?"

Santana tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it for a moment. "Her name is Brittany."

"And?" Quinn pushed her to continue.

"And she's beautiful." Santana whispered, feeling tears well up in her eyes as her emotions suddenly got to best of her.

It was silent on the other end of the line as Quinn processed her words. Finally, Quinn's voice sounded again, soft and understanding. "You like her, don't you?"

Santana choked on a breath and nodded her head but then realized that Quinn couldn't see her. She furiously wiped her tears away and took a moment to compose herself before answering the question in a whisper. "Yes."

"Oh San." Quinn cooed, causing Santana to squeeze her eyes shut as more tears spilled over.

"I don't know what to do."

"Just calm down, okay?" Quinn said softly, hearing Santana struggle with her breathing. She waited until she only heard quiet sniffles coming from the brunette before asking, "Does she like you too?"

"That's the thing." Santana replied, wildly gesturing with her hand in frustration. "I have no idea how she feels. Sometimes she looks at me in a way that makes me think she must feel _something _but then I wonder if maybe I'm just imagining things." She paused and shook her head. "She's a mystery."

"You should talk to her."

Santana scoffed. "It's not that easy."

Quinn sighed into the phone. "Is her relationship with Miguel serious?"

"He brought her home so obviously it is." Santana said, feeling the familiar feeling of guilt settling inside her chest again. She pinched the bridge of her nose. "She's my brother's girlfriend. I shouldn't even be thinking about this." A shuddering breath escaped her lips as her desperation suddenly seemed to double. "I'm a horrible sister."

"Don't say that, Santana." Quinn told her in a sympathetic tone. "You can't help who you fall in love with."

Santana felt a shiver run down her spine at the mention of being in love. Was she in love with Brittany? She couldn't be. They had only known each other for a week. She opened her mouth to speak when the sound of yelling caught her attention. Her brow furrowed in concern when she realized that it was coming from Miguel and Brittany's room. She hesitated for a moment before she focused her attention on her conversation with Quinn again. "Quinn, I'll call you back later."

"Is everything okay?"

"I don't know." Santana mumbled, ending the phone call before Quinn could speak again.

She stood up and followed the sound of the yelling until she was standing directly outside of Brittany and Miguel's door. She suddenly became aware of what she was doing. This wasn't really any of her business but she couldn't help but feel worried. She bit her lip in contemplation and was just about to turn around and leave when the door was suddenly opened and Miguel stormed outside.

He completely ignored his sister's presence and walked straight passed her. Santana stared after him in confusion. She hesitantly pushed the door open completely and felt her heart break at the sight of Brittany sitting on the bed with her face buried in her hands. All hesitation left Santana's body and she hurriedly crossed the room. She sat down next to Brittany and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a hug. Brittany tensed at first but then realized who it was and relaxed into the embrace.

"Shh I've got you." Santana whispered in Brittany's ear who just started to cry harder in response. She gently started to rub the blonde's back and made a mental note to kill her brother later. She had no idea what was going on but seeing Brittany cry was just wrong.

"I'm sorry." Brittany said weakly when her sobs began to subside a little.

"What are you sorry for?" Santana asked, her hand continuing to rub the same soothing patterns on her back.

"For this." Brittany mumbled, pulling back. She wiped her hand over her face and looked down at her lap, her cheeks colored a bright red. "God, I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be." Santana said as she placed her hands on Brittany's cheeks and used her thumbs to wipe away her tears. Their faces were only inches apart and Santana felt her heart-rate pick up in speed. She swallowed thickly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Brittany let out a shaky breath, her eyes never leaving Santana's. "We've been fighting a lot lately."

"About what?" Santana asked, slowly stroking her thumbs down Brittany's jaw. She knew that now was the right time to pull back but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Being this close to Brittany felt more right than anything else in the world.

"Everything." Brittany said with a helpless shrug of her shoulders.

Santana's eyes flickered down to Brittany's lips and then back up to the most gorgeous shades of blue. A heavy feeling of dread weighed down on her chest as she carefully considered her next question. "Do you think he's the one?"

"I…" Brittany began but then stopped, confliction written all over her features. She sighed and leaned into Santana's touch, her eyes fluttering closed. "No."

It felt like Santana was able to breathe again. She leaned in closer until she could feel Brittany's warm breath ghost across her lips, causing her to shudder. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage as she let her lips brush over Brittany's soft ones. She was so close to kissing her but there were too many things holding her back. She knew how hurt her brother would be by this. She knew how much it hurt when the one you loved chose someone else over you.

She knew.

"I'm sorry." She breathed out, her voice cracking. She abruptly dropped her hands and watched as Brittany opened her eyes, revealing blue orbs that were filled with pain and confusion. Santana felt her heart break into a million piece. She wanted nothing more than to pull Brittany into her arms and kiss her like there was no tomorrow but it wasn't right. "I can't do this."

"Santana…" Brittany tried but it was already too late.

Santana fled the room, leaving a bewildered Brittany behind, and quickly darted into her own room. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, sighing heavily. She had never felt so lost before. There was one thing she was sure of though.

She had no idea how it happened but she was in love with her brother's girlfriend.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N:_ As always thanks for your nice words :) Enjoy!

**Chapter 4.**

It was late in the morning when Santana came downstairs the next day. She hadn't been able to catch any sleep because of all the thoughts that had been running through her mind. She had replayed her conversation with Brittany in her head so many times that she had stopped keeping track. She was nervous to face the other woman because she had no idea what she was going to say to her. The worst part of it all was that she still had no idea how Brittany really felt about her. All she knew was that whatever it was that was going on between them had to stop before it was too late.

She took a deep breath in preparation and walked into the kitchen. Expecting the whole family to be there, she was surprised to see her dad sitting at the kitchen table by himself. "Where is everyone?" She asked him in a confused tone.

Juan looked up from his newspaper and smiled at her. "Good morning to you too, mija." He said teasingly. "Your mom is at Ms. Kowitz' house, probably gossiping like usual. Sofia, Jason and Tomas are at the playground. And Brittany and Miguel went to the park together."

Santana felt her heart sink. She hadn't expected anything to have changed. Honestly she didn't know what she had been expecting. She just felt really confused about yesterday's events and she needed to talk to Brittany about it. However, Brittany was obviously avoiding her and that thought hurt her more than she would've liked to admit.

When she looked up, her father was staring at her with concern written all over his face. "Are you okay, honey?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Santana tried to fake a smile, sitting down next to him.

The slight quiver in her voice didn't go unnoticed by him though. He looked at her with pleading eyes. "Talk to me, mija." Santana just continued to stubbornly stare ahead and he studied her features for a moment before placing his hand on her arm. "Does it have something to do with Brittany?"

Santana was completely caught off guard by the question. Her mind immediately went into overdrive. She could feel herself starting to panic as she tried to think of something to say. Juan saw the look of panic on his daughter's face and squeezed her arm reassuringly. Santana gulped and finally managed to choke out a reply. "W-What do you mean?"

"I can see the way you two look at each other." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Is there something going on between the two of you?"

Santana's heart was beating so fast that it felt like it would jump out of her chest. Was it really that obvious? Had everybody else noticed too? Her palms felt clammy as she began to panic even more. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It wasn't supposed to happen at all.

"It's okay, Santana." Juan soothed her, sensing that she was getting herself worked up. "You can tell me. I won't get mad."

Santana looked down at her hands nervously as she tried to think of the right way to say it. When she looked up at her dad, he gave her an encouraging nod. Several moments passed before she finally found her voice and began to speak. She told him everything. She told him how she felt when she was around Brittany. She told him about how confusing it was for her to have such strong feelings for someone she had only met a week ago. She told him about how they had almost kissed. And finally, she told him about how guilty she felt.

When she was finished speaking, she immediately glanced away, fearing his reaction. She expected her dad to be angry with her and prepared herself to be yelled at. But that didn't happen. Instead, he remained silent and she started to feel a little uncomfortable.

"You think I'm stupid, don't you?" She whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears.

The sad look on his usually confident daughter's face broke Juan's heart and he put his arm around her. "Not at all, honey. Not at all." He said softly, kissing the top of her head. "A bit foolish maybe but definitely not stupid."

"I sure as hell feel stupid." Santana sniffled, leaning into her dad as he held her. "Out of all the girls in the world, I fell in love with Miguel's girlfriend."

"You can't choose who you fall in love with." He told her thoughtfully. Santana couldn't help but roll her eyes, thinking about her conversation with Quinn and how she had said the exact same thing. Juan gently took her face into his hands, forcing her to look at him. "I don't want to see Miguel get hurt but it seems like someone will end up getting hurt either way. I want you to know that whatever happens, I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks papi." She rested her head on his shoulder.

Juan just nodded and tightened his arms around her. "You have to be honest about this though. You have to make a decision because lying will only hurt Miguel more. Whatever you do, don't sneak around behind his back."

Santana knew that he was right. She closed her eyes and nodded. "Okay."

They just sat there in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Santana was relieved that her dad wasn't angry with her. She knew that she had to talk to Brittany sooner or later but she decided to put it off for as long as possible. Brittany would probably tell her that she had done the right thing by pulling away and that she loved Miguel. She knew that the blonde would never be capable of hurting Miguel and neither was she. She hated how her life had become such a mess in such a short period of time.

* * *

><p>Santana spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on the couch, watching television. When Miguel and Brittany came home she could sense the tension between the couple. Miguel made his way into the kitchen without a word and Santana wondered if the two had been arguing again. Did Brittany tell him about what happened? No he would've been angry with Santana if that were the case.<p>

Brittany looked at her but Santana couldn't read her expression. She wanted to say something but she found herself at a loss for words. While Santana was having an inner battle with herself, Brittany shot her a sad, tight-lipped smile and walked out the door

It took a while for Santana's mind to start working again and she realized that it was now or never. She had to talk to Brittany. She had to find out what was going on between them. She took a deep breath before she walked out on the porch where Brittany was sitting on the steps, staring ahead, her eyes dull and missing their usual spark.

She swallowed thickly before taking a seat next to Brittany. The blonde barely acknowledged her presence and she shifted uncomfortably. They sat there for a while, neither of them really knowing what to say. Santana nervously fiddled with her fingers and then decided to just go for it. "Is… is everything okay between you and Miguel?"

"Of course not." Brittany snapped, causing Santana to jump slightly in response.

"Look, I know that you probably don't want to but we have to talk about what happened last night." Santana said, looking up at Brittany. She expected Brittany to snap at her again but was surprised when soft eyes met hers. The understanding expression on Brittany's face gave her to confidence to continue. "You make me feel something that I've never felt before and I know you can feel it too."

There were so many other things that Santana wanted to tell Brittany but she couldn't find the right words. So instead of pouring her heart out to Brittany, she just waited for the taller woman to do the talking. Brittany glanced away, a flicker of guilt flashing across her face. "You're the only who has ever made my heart flutter like this."

Santana was taken aback by the confession. A warm feeling spread throughout her body as a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. The brunette subtly moved closer to her until their knees were touching. Brittany blushed a little and laid her hand on the step with her palm up. Santana glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching before she covered Brittany's hand with her own, lacing their fingers together.

Silence fell over them again as Santana thought about what to say next. Before she had the chance to decide, Brittany turned to her and looked at her intently. "Every time I'm with you… I feel so happy. As if nothing else in the world m-matters but us." The slight stutter in her voice was a clear indication of how nervous she was and Santana gently stroked her thumb over the inside of her hand. "I've only known you for a short while but it feels like I've known you forever. I want to be around you all the time." She paused to swallow the lump in her throat. "I'm so confused, Santana."

Santana felt so many emotions at once. She was happy because Brittany felt something for her too but she was also scared of what was going to happen next. "I feel the same way, Britt." Santana admitted softly. "I really like you."

The word 'like' was an understatement but telling Brittany that she was in love with her would probably scare her off and that was the last thing she wanted to happen.

"I really like you too, San." Brittany said with a shy smile. Santana's heart was racing and her stomach was churning. She didn't know what to do next. She wanted to kiss Brittany so badly but she knew this wasn't the end of their conversation yet. In fact, the worst part was yet to come. "But whatever's going on between us has got to stop."

Even though she had been expecting this, Santana still felt her heart clench tightly in her chest. Brittany saw the hurt look on Santana's face and tightened her grip on her hand. "I'm sorry, Santana. I'm with Miguel and I don't want to hurt him."

"I understand." She whispered, reluctantly letting go of Brittany's hand. "I think it would be best if we kept our distance from each other."

Brittany nodded sadly. The pain Santana felt in her chest was almost unbearable and she didn't want Brittany to see her cry so she quickly made her way inside the house without looking back. By the time she got to her room, tears were streaming down her face.

* * *

><p>During dinner everybody was smiling and chatting away happily, except for Santana. The ache in her heart seemed to become worse by the minute. All she wanted was to crawl into bed and tune out the rest of the world. Even after everything that happened, she found herself being unable to tear her eyes away from Brittany. She studied her face intently in attempt to find out what the blonde was feeling. She smiled every now and then but the smiles seemed forced. Her eyes were sad and they weren't sparkly anymore. Santana saw that Brittany was hurt by this as well and she wanted nothing more than to forget about everyone else and pull her into a hug. But she didn't do that of course. She would never be able to hold or kiss Brittany and the pain that came with realizing this was indescribable.<p>

"Are you okay, Santana?"

All eyes were suddenly turned to her. Her dad's eyes were sympathetic since he knew what was going on inside his daughter's head. Santana felt guilty for acting so down around her family but she couldn't help it. "Yeah I just have a headache." She lied.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that, honey. Is there anything I can do for you?" Her mom asked worriedly.

"No thanks." Santana offered her a small smile. "I think I'm just going to go to bed if that's okay."

"Of course, honey. I hope you'll feel better in the morning."

Santana stood up and started to make her way upstairs when her nephew's voice stopped her. "You and Brittany will still bake cookies with me tomorrow, right?"

Santana quickly turned around to see Tomas staring at her with expectant eyes. Santana had completely forgotten about the promise they had made to the little boy yesterday. The familiar feeling of panic rose inside of her again. When she looked at Brittany, panic was evident in her eyes as well. She knew that it was going to be incredibly hard and not to mention awkward to be around Brittany but she couldn't find it in her heart to say no to Tomas.

"Of course." She finally said and Tomas cheered excitingly.

When she crawled into her bed a little while later, she realized that keeping her distance from Brittany was going to be a lot harder than she had thought. She let out a frustrated sigh and closed her eyes. It was long past midnight when exhaustion finally took over and she drifted off to sleep.

Santana was the first one up the next morning. She sat alone at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee as she stared into space. The only sound in the quiet house was the ticking of the clock. Her body was exhausted from the lack of sleep, she simply hadn't been able to turn her mind off during the night. The situation with Brittany was frustrating to say the least but she didn't think that there was anything that she could do about it.

She sat there alone for who knows how long, just thinking, until she heard the sound of footsteps. The kitchen door opened and Brittany walked in, looking pale and tired. Santana felt her heart leap in her chest. It hadn't taken her long to realize that running into Brittany was inevitable and she just hoped that things wouldn't be too awkward between them.

It looked like Brittany was still half asleep as she didn't acknowledge Santana's presence at all. She poured some coffee into a cup, mumbling incoherently when she spilled some on herself. She looked beyond cute and Santana couldn't stop the soft giggle that escaped her mouth. This caught Brittany's attention and her head snapped up in Santana's direction.

"Oh I-I'm sorry." She stammered, her cheeks turning red. "I didn't notice you were here."

"It's okay." Santana simply said as she got to her feet. She walked up to Brittany and reached around her to grab a wet cloth. Brittany looked at her in confusion and she smiled before gently beginning to dab the stain out of her t-shirt.

"You don't have to help me." Brittany mumbled.

"I don't mind." Santana told her, not looking up. Once she was finished, she set the wet cloth aside and stepped back to look Brittany over. "You might want to put on something else."

Brittany looked down at herself and shrugged. "It'll dry soon enough."

Santana nodded and awkwardly scratched the back of her neck as she returned to her spot at the table. Brittany timidly took the furthest seat away from her and began to flip through the newspaper, her eyes skimming the pages rapidly. Santana just watched her and wondered whether or not she was even reading it. After a few minutes, she couldn't take the silence anymore.

"How are you?" She asked in a weak attempt to start a conversation.

Brittany looked up from the newspaper with confused eyes. "It's okay, Santana. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to."

"I want to." Santana replied without any hesitation. She knew that they had agreed upon keeping their distance from each other but the sadness that Brittany's normally bright blue eyes held made her forget all about that. "Can't we at least be friends?"

Her voice sounded pleading and the truth was that she had never felt so vulnerable before. Being friends with Brittany was better than not having her in her life at all. Brittany was silent for a long time and Santana grew nervous. She was just about to take her words back when the blonde smiled at her.

"I'd like that."

Santana released a deep breath and returned the smile.

"So it seems like Tomas is holding us to the promise we made to him." Santana steered the conversation in a lighter direction.

"Yeah I'm surprised he even remembered." Brittany laughed a little and Santana felt a familiar flutter in her heart. "He was half asleep."

"I guess baking cookies is his new favorite hobby." Santana said remembering the cookies he had given her the day he arrived. She had tried some on the same day and they had tasted surprisingly good. "He's pretty good at it too."

"Cooking must run in your family." Brittany smiled. "Your mom is amazing at it."

They continued to chat for a while and Santana was surprised by how easy the conversation flowed between them. It wasn't awkward at all, much to her relief. The butterflies in her stomach were still there, in fact they were fluttering more actively than ever, but she tried to ignore them.

They could've talked for hours but eventually the rest of the family joined them. Santana tried her hardest not to let her disappointment show but judged by the look her dad shot her, she didn't do a very good job at it.

* * *

><p>After breakfast, Santana and Brittany went to the supermarket to pick up a few things they would need for the cookies. Santana grabbed a cart and they started to make their way down the aisles. Brittany hummed along to some Christmas song that was playing and Santana couldn't help but smile at how innocent she looked. It never failed to warm her heart.<p>

"Okay, first we need flour." She said as her eyes scanned the shelves.

"Got it!" Brittany replied less than three seconds later, dropping a bag of flour in the cart.

They continued to make their way around the supermarket, grabbing the items they needed. Brittany had made a list that she checked every now and then. Santana had told her that a list wouldn't be necessary since they only needed a few things but Brittany had insisted.

"Okay, we have everything." Santana said after she put the eggs in the cart. She started to make her way to the registers but quickly realized that Brittany wasn't following her. She turned around to see her standing there with a smirk on her face.

"What?"

"You forgot something." Brittany said, her eyes glimmering mischievously.

"No I didn't."

"The sugar, silly." Brittany giggled as Santana eyes scanned the cart in search of the missing sugar. She grinned and waved the piece of paper in her hand in front of Santana's face. "Do you still think making a list wasn't necessary?"

"I didn't _actually _forget about the sugar." Santana said with a roll of her eyes, not wanting to admit that Brittany was right. "I was going to grab it on my way to the registers."

"Of course you were." Brittany said with an amused look on her face.

When Brittany walked away to get the sugar, Santana's face instantly broke into a huge smile. It was strange but nice to be around Brittany, it was almost as if nothing ever happened. She thought that maybe if they tried hard enough, they could actually make the friendship thing work.

* * *

><p>When they got home, Tomas was already waiting for them. Santana quickly placed the bag of groceries on the counter and Tomas immediately started sorting through it. He started putting various ingredients into a bowl while Santana and Brittany watched him in amusement. He really seemed to know what he was doing.<p>

"Aren't you going to help?" He asked after a while.

Brittany picked up the recipe, her face scrunching up in confusion as she read it. Santana shot her a questioning look and she explained. "I find recipes confusing."

"But you made pancakes and they tasted amazing." Santana had already told her that a million times the morning Brittany had made them but it was true, they were the best pancakes she had ever had.

"Thanks." Brittany flashed her a small smile. "My mom taught me how to make them."

"Well I could definitely get used to eating them every morning." Santana mentally face-palmed as soon as the words left her mouth. She couldn't believe that she had actually just said that. She could feel her cheeks turn red as she quickly averted her gaze down to her feet. Luckily, Brittany just laughed and walked over to Tomas to help him.

Santana sighed in relief and followed her.

"Britty, can you add the flour?" Tomas asked in a sweet voice.

Santana and Brittany both smiled at the nickname. Brittany pulled on the bag and it exploded open, leaving her covered in white flour. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Santana and Tomas immediately burst out laughing.

"You think this is funny?" Brittany asked in a serious tone, glaring at them. For a moment Santana thought that she was actually angry but then she smiled and grabbed a handful of flour. Santana's jaw dropped in shock when her face was suddenly painted white, causing Tomas to giggle hysterically.

"You did not just do that." Santana mumbled, narrowing her eyes at Brittany who just grinned back at her. "You're so going to pay for that."

Brittany stuck out her tongue teasingly and Santana quickly turned around to hide the smile on her face. She grabbed the bag of flour and started to chase after Brittany who was already running away. It didn't take long until the three of them were covered in the white powder, their laughter echoing throughout the kitchen.

Suddenly, Maribel entered the kitchen and a look of horror twisted her features. It seemed like a tornado had passed through the room. "What in the world happened in here?"

"Don't worry, mami." Santana said through her laughs, wiping at her eyes. "We'll clean it up."

Maribel turned her eyes to them. They were covered head-to-toe in flour and she couldn't help but smile at the cute sight. Without saying a word, she hurriedly left the kitchen and Santana looked at Brittany who looked just as confused as she did. Ten seconds later, Maribel returned with a camera and quickly snapped a few pictures of them, ignoring their protests.

"You guys look so cute."

Santana rolled her eyes and snatched the camera out of her mom's hands. When she looked at the pictures, she had to admit that they did indeed look very cute. Almost like a real family. A sad feeling washed over her and her smile faltered. She sighed and handed the camera back to her mom before turning to face Brittany.

"So do we have enough flour left to make cookies?"

Brittany looked into her eyes for a moment and then nodded slowly. "I think we'll manage."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

"We should go out." Miguel suggested out of nowhere.

Santana tore her eyes away from the TV and looked at him questioningly. "Go out? In Lima?"

"Brittany's friend opened a new club recently and it's cool. I promise." Miguel told her. He turned to Brittany whose attention was still focused on the movie that they were watching and placed his hand on her thigh, causing Santana to clench her jaw. "What do you say, Britt? I'll invite Puck. It'll be fun."

"I can't believe you're still best friends with that moron." Santana murmured under her breath.

Brittany looked skeptical. Her eyes found Santana's and she smiled softly. "I don't know. Do you want to go, Santana?"

Santana bit her lip in contemplation. The thought of spending time with Brittany made her stomach flip like always but Miguel would also be there and she didn't want to spend the night pretending that everything was okay. She began to shake her head but Miguel clasped his hands together and put up his best puppy dog eyes. "Please Santana. We haven't hung out since forever."

Santana sighed and finally gave in. "Fine. It sounds nice I guess but I don't have anything to wear. I only brought one dress and I'm planning on wearing it tomorrow, on Christmas eve."

"You can borrow something from me." Brittany offered in a soft voice, blushing slightly.

"Problem solved!" Miguel cheered as he quickly got to his feet. "I'll go call Puck. Don't take too long."

Santana rolled her eyes at her brother and watched as he left the room.

A little while later, Brittany and Santana were standing in Miguel and Brittany's bedroom. Santana watched in amusement as Brittany rummaged through the closet, throwing random clothes over her shoulder in the process. Finally she turned around and handed Santana a knee-length dress and a pair of black heels. "Here, this will look amazing on you."

"Thanks." Santana smiled as she took the items from her, trusting her judgment. "I'll just go change in my own room then."

The brunette disappeared around the corner while Brittany continued to look for an outfit for herself. She quickly found one and had just finished getting ready when Santana walked back into the room. Brittany turned around and her breath hitched in her throat when her eyes landed on Santana. She looked stunning. The dark red color of the dress made her eyes pop and it hugged her curves perfectly. Her hair was tied back into a low side ponytail, her dark hair flowing gently down the front of her left shoulder.

"You look beautiful." Brittany breathed out, completely mesmerized.

"Thanks, Britt." Santana blushed, her eyes scanning over Brittany's body. The blonde was wearing a simple yet elegant short strapless black dress and heels that made her toned legs seem endless. Her hair fell over her shoulders in waves, looking shiny and perfect. She swallowed thickly. "Wow."

"I'll take that as a good thing." Brittany laughed softly, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Santana frantically nodded her head. "You look gorgeous."

Brittany felt her heart flutter in her chest. She didn't know why it felt so good to hear those words from Santana. They continued doing their make-up and added some finishing touches to their outfits. It was like Santana had a permanent smile etched on her face. It felt so right to be around Brittany. It was like they had known each other forever.

"So your friend owns the club, huh?" Santana asked curiously.

"Yeah his name is Mike. We dance together sometimes." Brittany explained.

"That's cool." Santana said with a smile.

"Are you ready?" Miguel peaked his head around the door.

Santana grabbed her purse and looked at Brittany who nodded. After promising Maribel that they'd be safe and reminding her that they were all adults, they headed outside where a cab was already waiting for them. It was a short drive to the club so it didn't take long for the vehicle to come to a halt again.

They got out and Miguel immediately spotted Puck near the entrance. Brittany and Santana followed him as he walked up to his friend. Santana vaguely recognized him. She hadn't seen him in years but he hadn't changed that much. After Miguel and Brittany had both greeted him, Miguel placed his hand on Santana's shoulder, encouraging her to take a step forwards. "Puck, I'm sure you still remember my sister Santana."

"Hi." Santana mumbled, giving him a small wave.

"Oh I remember." Puck grinned, offering her his hand. "It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise." Santana forced a smile, shaking his hand.

Miguel placed his hand on Puck's shoulder and looked at him seriously. "She's off limits to you, bro."

Puck released Santana's hand in order to raise both of his hands defensively. "Don't worry about me."

"So where's Mike?" Miguel asked, turning to Brittany.

Brittany glanced at her watch. "He should come out any minute now to let us in through the backdoor."

The words hadn't even left her mouth yet when Mike suddenly appeared next to them. It had been a while since he had last seen Brittany so he couldn't contain his excitement. The blonde let out a startled yelp when she was suddenly being hoisted into the air. She slapped her friend on the shoulder. "Chang, put me down!"

"Sorry, I can't help it." Mike said as he lowered Brittany back down to the ground. "It's been ages since we've last gone out together. I've missed you."

Santana narrowed her eyes at the guy and stepped forward. "Hi, I'm Santana."

Mike smiled and nodded at her. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Mike."

"Tina couldn't make it?" Brittany asked.

"No she had to work unfortunately."

Santana moved closer to Brittany and quietly asked, "Who's Tina?"

"Mike's girlfriend." Brittany explained.

Santana let out a heavy sigh and nodded in understanding. She couldn't help but mentally kick herself in the head. She was acting absolutely ridiculous. She didn't have the right to be jealous because Brittany wasn't hers. Brittany was Miguel's girlfriend and she was going to have to accept that.

"Shall we head inside?"

They all agreed and followed Mike as he led them into the club. It was packed with people and they had to fight their way to the bar. Puck offered to get them drinks and when it was time for Brittany to tell him her order, she bit her lip in hesitation. "I'll just have a water, please."

"I like what you've done with the place." Miguel complimented Mike with a grin, gesturing towards the Christmas decorations that adorned the club's high walls.

"I had to somehow get people into the Christmas spirit." Mike chuckled.

He led the rest of the group towards a private booth in the corner of the club. It was quieter in this area and they could actually communicate with each other without having to shout. It was one of the many perks of having a friend who owned a club. They all took a seat and Santana leaned in to whisper into Brittany's ear. "Are you not drinking?"

Brittany shook her head, an uneasy expression settling on her face. "I kind of…" She glanced away, her cheeks turning red. "I kind of turn into a stripper when I'm drunk."

Santana looked at her for a moment before she burst out laughing.

"Santana." Brittany complained, giving her a playful nudge in the ribs. "It's not funny."

"Yes it is." Santana said with an amused shake of her head.

Puck returned and placed their drinks on the table before sitting down. "So, what's everyone been up to?"

Santana tried to listen to Miguel as he began to share a story but she could hardly focus. Not with the way his arm was wrapped around Brittany's waist. Brittany looked uneasy, squirming in her seat and trying to make eye-contact with Santana who was avoiding it at all costs. She heard Santana mumble something under her breath and turned her head to look at her. The brunette was gripping her glass so tightly that Brittany was afraid that it would break. She frowned in concern. "Are you okay, San?"

Santana's head shot up in surprise and she offered Brittany a weak smile. "Yes but I have to go to the bathroom."

She slid out of her seat and walked away with quick steps before Brittany had the chance to respond. Brittany followed her with her eyes, knowing exactly what the reason behind her sudden change in mood was. She contemplated whether or not she should go after the brunette but decided against it. Santana would've asked her if she had wanted her to come.

"How are things going at the club?" Puck's voice pulled Brittany from her thoughts. She sighed and tried to listen as Mike enthusiastically started to ramble about his job. Brittany loved how passionate he was about his profession but it didn't take long for her to zone out. She wanted Santana to return. Miguel's arm felt heavy around her waist and she couldn't stop herself from pushing him away. He looked at her in confusion but didn't say anything.

Luckily, Santana returned a few minutes later, looking a lot less tense than before. She smiled at Brittany as she sat down next to her. Brittany sighed in relief and returned the smile. She tried to focus on Mike's words but found it even harder to concentrate with Santana sitting so close to her.

After a while, Mike left to take care of something while Miguel and Puck went to the bar to get some more drinks, leaving Brittany and Santana alone. Brittany rested her elbow on the table and her chin in her palm, looking at the beautiful woman that had turned her life into a mess in just a matter of days. "Are you having a good time?"

Santana nodded and took a sip from her wine before answering. "Mike is nice."

"I'm glad you think so." Brittany said, smiling widely when Santana shyly looked away. Seeing this side of Santana was one of the most adorable things ever. "Do you want to go dancing?"

Santana bit her lip. "I don't know, Britt."

"Come on, it'll be fun." Brittany tried to convince her. Santana shook her head and went to take another sip from her drink but Brittany took the glass from her and put it down on the table while grabbing her other hand. "I know it's been a while for you but you don't forget how to dance."

A small smile formed on Santana's lips and she stopped resisting. Brittany led her onto the dance floor and started moving her body to the beat. Santana stood there for a few seconds before she started copying Brittany's movements, quickly growing more confident. As she lost herself in the music, she turned around so that her back was pressed against Brittany's front. Brittany gulped, suddenly feeling a million degrees hotter than before, and placed her hands on the brunette's waist. She rolled her hips hard, following the rhythm of the song, her heart pounding rapidly in her chest.

Santana couldn't even describe what was happening. Her throat went dry as Brittany swiftly moved down her body, dragging her hands along her sides in the process. It felt like she was isolated from the world, only aware of this moment and the desire building up inside of her. Hit by a sudden wave of boldness, she turned around so that they were dancing face-to-face. She dragged her fingertips up and down Brittany's arms, touching her soft skin gently, her eyes never breaking contact with piercing blue ones. Her hands finally settled on Brittany's hips and she pulled the woman closer. She didn't know if it was the alcohol running through her veins or the intense music but the heat slowly building in the pit of her stomach was making her body want more, so much more.

Santana flushed, ashamed by how turned on she was, and quickly created some distance between them. Her confliction must've been evident on her face because Brittany's smile disappeared as her features twisted into disappointment. She lowered her eyes in embarrassment, realizing what they had been doing.

"I-I'll go get us another drink." She stammered, her voice barely audible over the loud music. Santana opened and closed her mouth a few times but no words came out. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, watching as Brittany disappeared into the crowd. It took a few minutes before her body started working again and she slowly walked away from the dance floor.

Brittany bumped into Mike on her way to the bar and he dragged her back onto the dance floor. She wanted to protest but once he started to dance with her, she quickly lost herself in her passion again.

* * *

><p>Almost an hour had passed when she made her way back to the booth and slipped into the seat next to Santana. She scooted closer to the brunette and wrapped her arm around her waist, squeezing it briefly and leaning in to speak in her ear. "You're drunk."<p>

"Jusss' a little." Santana slurred, holding up her thumb and index finger to indicate a small amount. She reached out for her drink but accidentally knocked it off the table. Giggling, she mumbled an apologetic, "Oops."

"Don't break Mike's stuff, Lopez." Puck told her from across the table.

"I should probably get her home." Brittany said, tightening her grip around Santana's slim waist. She smiled when the other woman mumbled something incoherently, resting her head on Brittany's shoulder. Her eyes found Miguel's who didn't seem to be paying much attention. "You can stay if you want."

"Will you be okay?" He asked. "I can call you a cab."

Brittany nodded and slowly helped Santana to her feet. Santana gripped onto Brittany's dress as she swayed from side to side, leaning most of her weight against Brittany. The blonde quickly kissed Miguel on the cheek and waved at Puck before she urged Santana out of the booth.

They stumbled through the club and Brittany struggled to keep them both upright, focusing hard on every step she took. They only had to wait a little while before the cab arrived and Brittany carefully helped Santana climb into the backseat. The ride home was silent. Brittany kept checking on Santana to see if she was alright and hadn't fallen asleep.

When they reached the house, Santana fumbled with her keys, trying to get the door open. Brittany gently took them from her and unlocked the door. Santana stumbled inside and the blonde quickly grabbed her by the shoulders, steadying her against the wall. "Shh the rest is asleep. We have to be quiet."

Santana just mumbled something she failed to understand and she smiled. She closed the door and locked it before guiding Santana upstairs and towards her bedroom. She sat the brunette down on her bed and walked towards the dresser, grabbing some comfortable clothes.

"You need to get changed." She whispered as she returned to Santana's side. Santana gave her a barely visible nod and lifted her arms in the air. Brittany laughed softly. "You're wearing a dress, San. You'll have to stand up."

Santana looked confused and let her arms drop to her sides. Brittany gently pulled her to her feet and unzipped her dress, helping her step out of it. She held her breath and tried to keep her eyes from roaming over Santana's flawless body as she pulled a t-shirt over the brunette's head. A sniffle caught Brittany's attention and her brow creased in concern. "Are you crying?"

"I hate the world." Santana whimpered dramatically, looking up at Brittany with tear-filled eyes.

"Why is that?" Brittany asked gently. She helped the shorter girl step into a pair of shorts before she guided her back to the bed, sitting her down again.

Santana wiped under her nose, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "It's not fair! You're so beautiful and I want you so bad but you're Miguel's!"

Brittany knelt down in front of her and placed her hands on her thighs. "Let's not talk about this right now, okay?" She asked softly.

"I'm a horrible person." Santana almost shouted. Her face contorted and she briefly closed her eyes, tears escaping her lashes and rolling down her cheeks. "I'm not supposed to have these feelings for you. I'm betraying my own brother!"

"Shh." Brittany gently shushed the woman, feeling her heart break, knowing how upset Santana was over this. She reached up and wiped the moisture off Santana's cheeks with the pads of her thumbs before she let her hands fall to Santana's thighs again. "You're not a horrible person, San."

Santana sighed. "But I feel so bad."

"I know but we'll figure this out." Brittany told her softly. She suddenly realized that Santana's face was only inches away from her own and she quickly removed her hands. Her heart-rate sped up as her eyes bore into Santana's warm brown ones, leaving her feeling light-headed and at a loss for words.

Santana closed her eyes and slowly leaned in. But before their lips could connect, Brittany abruptly pulled away and Santana's eyes blinked open in confusion. Brittany looked at her apologetically and got to her feet, letting her fingers brush over Santana's shoulder as she walked around the bed. She pulled back the covers so that Santana could crawl underneath them.

"Good night, Santana." She whispered, smiling softly as Santana snuggled into her pillow.

Santana looked up at her with droopy eyes. "Good night, Britt."

Brittany hesitated for a moment but then leaned down to press a lingering kiss to Santana's cheek. The brunette mumbled sleepily and lifted her hand to touch the spot, a lazy smile spreading across her face. Brittany watched her for another moment and then quietly tiptoed out of the room.

* * *

><p>Santana groaned when she shuffled into the kitchen the next morning. She sat down at the table and buried her face in her hands. She peeked between her fingers when a cup of coffee was placed in front of her and smiled gratefully. "Thanks."<p>

Brittany nodded and took a seat next to her. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Not really. Aren't you having anything?" Santana asked, taking a sip from her coffee. Brittany just hummed and drummed her fingers on the table distractedly. Her eyes were distant and she appeared to be deep in thought. Santana's face fell. "Britt?"

"Do you want something to eat?" Brittany asked in response.

Santana frowned. "No thank you. Where is the rest?"

"They're at the grocery store to get everything for tonight." Brittany explained, pursing her lips. "And Miguel is still in bed."

Santana blinked slowly. "Did he get home late?"

"Yeah." Brittany said with a humorless smile. "He was absolutely wasted. It will probably be awhile before he gets up."

"You don't seem too happy with him."

"He's a lot to deal with when he's drunk." Brittany told her, irritation glimmering in her eyes as she stonily stared out the window. "He suddenly gets very touchy feely, trying to have sex with me even after I've told him no a million times. It's really annoying." She looked at Santana and sighed when she saw the troubled expression on the brunette's face. "I'm sorry. You probably don't want to hear any of this."

Santana shrugged but didn't say anything. She took another sip of her coffee. "I hope I wasn't too much of a handful last night."

"You weren't too bad." Brittany said with a small smile.

Santana narrowed her eyes in concentration and her face fell when memories of the night before started flooding her mind. "I cried, didn't I?"

"You might have." Brittany replied, grinning at the horrified expression on Santana's face. She patted the other woman's hand and got to her feet. "Seriously though, you should eat something. I'll fix you some pancakes."

Santana perked up slightly at the mention of pancakes and she adjusted her grip on her mug. "That sounds nice."

Brittany opened the fridge and took out everything she needed. Santana sipped her coffee and watched in silence as Brittany prepared breakfast. A little while later, the blonde placed a plate of food front of her and Santana nodded gratefully. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Brittany said sweetly.

They sat there in silence as Santana finished her pancakes. She cringed as blurry memories of her conversation with Brittany last night entered her mind again. "I'm so embarrassed."

"Why?" Brittany asked, confused.

"I'm not always such a lightweight." Santana sighed. "I don't know what happened."

"It wasn't that bad." Brittany smiled softly. She tentatively reached out to run her fingers through the brunette's messy hair in an attempt to smooth it down. She could see that Santana was still half asleep. "Why don't you take a shower? That might make you feel better. Your mom expects you to be extra happy today."

"Great idea." Santana replied, unsteadily pulling herself into a standing position. She brought her plate to the sink and looked at Brittany on her way out, "Hey, Britt? Thank you for taking care of me last night."

"Anytime." Brittany beamed at her.

Santana felt her heart flutter in her chest and she smiled before quickly leaving the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: _Hi :) I wanted to get this chapter up sooner but I was emotionally unstable because of Naya and Heather's tweets. Anyway, here it is and thanks for the reviews as always.

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><p><strong>Chapter 6.<strong>

Everyone was sitting around the table, staring at the food in amazement. Besides the large chicken in the center of the table, there were bowls with salad, potatoes, bread and lots of other things. It was Christmas eve which Maribel had seen as the perfect excuse to spent hours in the kitchen preparing this meal, with the help of the rest of the family of course. Santana's headache had luckily subsided and she was feeling a lot better. There was Christmas music playing in the background and the mood was light. Laughter surrounded the room, stories were shared and everybody enjoyed the food.

After they finished the meal, everybody helped clear off the table before they settled in the living room. They watched Tomas' favorite Christmas movie, the Polar Express, but Santana wasn't really watching. Her eyes were once again focused on Brittany. Miguel had his arm around her and Santana felt jealousy swarm through her. When he intertwined his fingers with Brittany's, Santana couldn't take it anymore. She clenched her jaw and turned away. The feeling of jealousy was so strong that she didn't know how to deal with it. She desperately wanted to run out of the room and never look back but she didn't want to ruin Christmas eve. So she just sat there with her arms crossed over her chest, probably looking pissed.

When the movie was over, Brittany helped Tomas pour a glass of milk and get some of the cookies they made the day before. Tomas brought them to the table, his eyes sparkling with excitement, and set them down. After making sure they were standing precisely in the middle, he said good night to everyone before Sofia brought him upstairs.

"You're so good with kids, Brittany." Maribel said once they were out of sight. "When will I get to welcome my second grandchild?"

"Mami!" Miguel protested with an irritated look on his face while Brittany's cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

"What?" Maribel shrugged. "I was just asking."

"It's none of your business." Miguel said with a shake of his head. He sank further into the cushions of the couch and pursed his lips. "I don't even want kids."

"What?" Brittany's head snapped up in surprise, her brow furrowing. "Since when?"

"I've never said that I do."

"And what if _I _do?" She asked, raising her voice slightly.

Juan cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to remind them that there were other people in the room but they ignored him. Santana anxiously began to chew on her nails. It concerned her that Miguel and Brittany had never discussed a serious topic like this before. It made her question how serious their relationship really was. A heavy sigh escaped her mouth when her thoughts wandered back to the night Brittany had told her she didn't think Miguel was the one. It said everything. She felt stuck.

"Can we please not talk about this right now?" Miguel asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"When were you planning on talking about this then, huh?"

"Please Brittany, let's have this conversation another time."

Brittany looked at him for a few seconds, anger evident in her eyes, before finally hissing out a response. "Fine."

The rest of the evening was spent in silence. Nobody really knew what to say. Santana hated seeing Brittany so upset. She couldn't help but feel angry with Miguel. He was so lucky for getting to be with Brittany and Santana didn't understand why he would risk losing her. If Brittany was hers, she would do anything to make her happy and she would never let her go.

But Brittany wasn't hers and she probably never would be.

* * *

><p>That night she once again found herself unable to sleep. She pulled on her robe, left her room and tiptoed down the stairs. She immediately noticed that the porch lights were on so she quietly made her way outside. Brittany was leaning over the railing with her hands clasped together, silently staring ahead. Santana looked at her for a second, wondering what she was thinking about. Deciding to make her presence known, she stepped forwards and cleared her throat.<p>

"Hi."

Brittany jumped in surprise and whipped her head around in Santana's direction. Relief washed over her features when her eyes met curious brown ones. "Hey." She replied in a soft tone. "We just keep meeting each other here, don't we?"

"Yeah seems like it." Santana smiled a bit as she moved to mirror Brittany's position by the railing. "Couldn't sleep either?"

Brittany sighed. "No."

Santana nodded and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing on it thoughtfully. She moved a little closer to Brittany so that their shoulders were touching. "What are you thinking about?" She asked hesitantly.

"About a lot of things." Brittany mumbled, lowering her gaze to her hands. She picked at her nails for a moment before looking back up at Santana. "It's weird to spend Christmas like this."

"A good weird?" Santana asked, trying to read Brittany's eyes.

"Yeah." Brittany shrugged, letting out a soft, humorless laugh. "It's just a little, I don't know, overwhelming?" She breathed out, not knowing exactly what she was trying to say. Santana nodded to show her understanding so she continued. "Everybody's so nice and welcoming. It's like I belong here and I'm not- I've gotten so used to being on my own. After my parents passed away, Christmas was never the same. I still loved it but there was this feeling of loneliness that came with it." She was silent for a moment, not quite finding the right words. "I guess I'm still adjusting."

Santana nodded silently and reached out to take one of Brittany's hands in her own. "Take all the time you need." She replied, her thumb rubbing the back of Brittany's hand in soothing circles. "Everyone loves you and you're more than welcome here."

"For now." Brittany said sadly, her eyes downcast. She looked ahead again, gazing around at the dark, silent homes in the street, some decorated with Christmas lights. Her grip on Santana's hand tightened when she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what to do, San."

Santana used her free hand to brush a few strands of hair out of Brittany's face. She realized what an intimate gesture it was but she couldn't bring herself to care. "Are you talking about Miguel?" She asked quietly.

Brittany bit her lip and slowly nodded her head. "I really thought that I loved him but now I'm not so sure anymore." She sighed and rubbed her forehead in frustration. "I don't even know why I got so mad at him when he said he doesn't want kids because I don't want kids either. Not with him at least."

"Britt." Santana cooed, squeezing her hand, silently requesting eye-contact. Brittany got the message and looked up, her eyes meeting sympathetic brown ones. "If being with him doesn't feel right, you have to be honest with him." Brittany looked hesitant so she continued. "And this isn't about you and me. This is about your happiness. About Miguel's happiness."

Brittany looked at her intently, her eyes glistening in the light. "I don't want to hurt him."

"He will understand eventually." Santana said, taking Brittany's other hand in her own as well. "This is going to sound extremely cliché but you have to follow your heart." She moved closer to Brittany until their faces were only inches apart. She reached up to cup Brittany's cheeks with both of her hands. "I just want you to be happy, Britt."

Brittany's breathing faltered slightly. Her voice sounded small and nervous when she spoke. "What if _you_ make me happy?"

Santana's lips quivered and she swallowed thickly, feeling a sudden rush of emotions block her throat. Tears sprang to her eyes, blurring her vision before they spilled down her cheeks, feeling warm against her cold skin. "Then maybe one day our paths will cross again." She said shakily, her heart breaking when she saw the sadness in Brittany's eyes. "But for now you have to figure out what to do on your own. I can't help you with that, Britt."

"Santana…" Brittany whispered, curling her fingers around Santana's wrists to keep her hands in place. Tears welled up in her eyes as she slowly shook her head. "Please don't give up on me. I just… I just need some time."

"I know." Santana reassured her. "I could never give up on you. You make me feel something that I've never felt before. You're so beautiful and sweet and I... I just love every minute I spend with you. I don't want to spend another day without you but you're with Miguel and hurting him is the last thing I want to do." She took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for what she had been wanting to tell Brittany for days now. "I tried to ignore my feelings, I really did, but I just can't do it anymore. I'm in love with you, Brittany. I'm hopelessly in love with you and there's nothing I can do about it."

She nervously flickered her eyes up to meet bright blue ones, waiting for a reaction. Leaning closer, Brittany nudged the brunette's nose with her own before tentatively pressing their lips together. She stood frozen for a moment but then relaxed, melting into the contact and kissing back just as eagerly.

It was better than anything Santana had ever imagined. Brittany's lips were soft and gentle against her own and she decided that this was her new favorite feeling. Brittany's hold on her wrists loosened, giving her the chance to trail her fingers up the spine of Brittany's neck, playing with the soft hair at the base. Brittany angled her head to the side and swiped her tongue across Santana's bottom lip, requesting entry. Santana willingly obliged and she couldn't help but whimper softly when their tongues brushed against each other.

She pushed Brittany backwards until she was pressed up against the railing. Their lips moved together naturally and Santana never wanted this moment to end. It wasn't until oxygen became a necessity that she pulled away from Brittany's lips, resting their foreheads together. Their noses lightly brushed together as their breaths mingled. It was as they were in their own little world. Everything and everyone around them was momentarily forgotten.

"This is wrong." Santana whispered, closing her eyes.

Brittany placed her hands on Santana's waist, curling her fingers around the material of her robe to keep her close. "But it feels so right."

"Then why did you pull away last night?"

Brittany sighed and spoke in barely a whisper. "Because you were drunk and I didn't want to cheat on Miguel." Santana's eyes shot open when she heard the quiver in Brittany's voice. "I feel horrible for doing this but I just can't stay away from you anymore. It's like I'm drawn to you."

Santana let her lips brush against Brittany's cheek before kissing it delicately. "This was inevitable."

"Our love was inevitable." Brittany agreed.

Santana smiled softly and captured Brittany's lips with her own again. They kissed lazily for a while, relishing in the warmth that each other's touch ignited within their bodies, until Brittany was finally the one to pull away. She smiled reassuringly and brushed a strand of hair behind Santana's ear. "As much as I enjoy your sweet lady kisses," She said, giving Santana another peck on the lips. "We're not done talking yet."

Santana nodded, suddenly highly aware of where they were. She looked over her shoulder and was relieved to see that it was still dark inside the house. Looking at Brittany again, she gave her a small smile of encouragement. "I'm listening."

Brittany took a deep breath as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I love Miguel but I'm not _in _love with him." She started, her eyes darting all over Santana's face to see her reaction. "I thought that I was until I met you. You make me feel something I didn't even know existed."

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Santana asked, suddenly feeling nervous again.

Brittany's eyes finally settled on hers as she nodded in confirmation. "I'm in love with you too, Santana."

Santana smiled. "What happens now?"

"I don't know." Brittany admitted softly, her face falling into a sad expression. "I want get to know you better. I want to learn everything about you."

"Britt." Santana murmured, lightly brushing her lips against Brittany's. She didn't think she'd ever get over how right it felt, them being like this. Her heart-rate sped up when she felt Brittany press her lips harder against hers as they molded together like two puzzle pieces that had finally found each other. Pulling away, Santana gently stroked the area just below Brittany's ear with her thumb. "We can't be together right now."

"I know." Brittany whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'll figure it out. I promise, Santana."

"_Hey_." Santana cooed, wiping away the tear that rolled down Brittany's cheek. "I know you will."

"He'll hate me." Brittany whimpered, more tears escaping her eyes before she could stop them. "He'll forgive you eventually because you're family but me… Oh God, your family..."

"Britt, look at me." Santana said gently, waiting for blue eyes to meet hers. "It'll be hard but we'll get through this. Together. Okay?"

When Brittany nodded, Santana wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist and pulled her into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to her temple. Brittany's arms encircled Santana's back and she buried her face in the curve of Santana's neck, sighing contentedly.

They stayed in that position until they were both shivering from the cold and decided to head back inside.

* * *

><p>"Santa ate the cookies!" Tomas squealed excitedly, pointing to the empty plate on the table.<p>

The whole family was sitting in the living room. They had just unwrapped all their presents and Tomas was happily sitting in a pile of toys. Everybody smiled at the adorable sight. The first thing Santana noticed when Brittany had come downstairs this morning were the bags under her eyes. It looked like the blonde hadn't slept all and Santana's guess was that she had probably spent the night thinking about what to do.

Santana wished that she could help somehow but she knew that this was something Brittany had to do on her own.

After breakfast, Juan asked Santana to join him for a walk. Santana assumed that he wanted to talk to her about Brittany so she didn't really want to go but did anyway. They walked in a comfortable silence before they came across a bench and decided to sit down.

"How are you, mija?" Her dad asked.

Santana took a few seconds to think about the question. "I'm okay I guess."

"Don't lie to me, honey, I can see how hard this is for you." Juan put his hand on her shoulder. "Talk to me."

Santana sighed. At that moment she hated that her dad knew her so well. "I talked to Brittany last night." Juan nodded and gently started to rub circles on his daughter's back, silently encouraging her to continue. She looked down at her hands. "I told her how I feel."

"What did she say?"

"We kissed." Santana told him, her voice barely above a whisper. Her heart sped up slightly when she thought about how amazing it had felt to kiss Brittany and she wished she could relive the moment endlessly. "Then she told me that she feels the same way."

Juan was silent for a few moments before he asked, "What about Miguel?"

"I don't know." Santana said, feeling her throat constrict tightly. "Brittany… she's not happy with him but she's afraid of hurting him."

"That's not a good reason to stay with him." Juan frowned. "He deserves better. They both do."

"That's what I told her." Santana said, hesitantly daring a glance at him. "I don't want to hurt him either but I just can't deny my feelings for her any longer. It's too hard."

"I understand, mija." Juan replied soothingly. "And you shouldn't. Love is a rare thing to find so once you're lucky enough to find the right person, you should never let them go." He paused to make sure that he had her attention. "Miguel will probably be angry at first but like I told you before, I'm sure he'll understand eventually. I know that it's not my place to judge but I know my son and I can tell that Brittany doesn't make him happy either."

"I guess you're right." Santana agreed, biting her lip. "But even if they broke up, it would still be wrong to be with Brittany, despite how much I want to. It just wouldn't be fair to Miguel." She let out a shaky breath and shook her head, sadly. "I guess now I know what Morgan felt like before she left me."

"Sometimes you don't have any other choice but to be selfish." Juan kissed the top of her head. "If Brittany makes you happy, then that's all that should matter. If the circumstances were different and you had met her somewhere else, what would you have done right now?"

Santana answered the question truthfully. "I would've held onto her and never let her go."

And with that everything became clear to Santana. She wanted to be with Brittany and she knew that all the hurt would be worth it in the end. She had never believed in love at first sight until she met Brittany and she would be a fool not to fight for them. Brittany had made her a promise and she deserved a chance to keep it.

"What did Brittany tell you last night?" Her dad's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

A small smile formed on Santana's lips. "She asked me to give her some time."

"And will you?"

For once, she didn't have to think over the question. "Yes."

* * *

><p>The next couple of days passed in a blur and before she knew it, it was time to go home. She hugged everyone tightly, exchanging some words of goodbye, as they were standing in the hall. Her dad was going to give her a lift to the airport and for the first time in her life she was dreading going back to New York.<p>

"I'll miss you so much." Her mom whispered in her ear before pulling away. "You know that the door is always open for you."

"I know." Santana smiled, gently wiping her mom's tears away. "Don't cry, mami. It's not as if you won't ever see me again."

"Knowing you, it will probably be a while." Maribel said with a look of disapproval.

"You know I'm busy but there's such thing as phones, you know?" Santana said teasingly. Maribel just glared at her and she laughed before hugging her mom one last time for good measure. "Don't be mad. I'll call you when I get home, okay?"

"You better." Maribel smiled, patting her on the back.

They pulled away and Santana startled slightly when a force suddenly collided with her body. She looked down and smiled when she saw that Tomas was clutching onto her leg, looking up at her with big, tear-filled eyes. "Don't go."

"Aw sweetie." Santana cooed, kneeling down so that she was at eye-level with her nephew. "Don't be sad. We'll see each other soon."

"Promise?" Tomas sniffled.

Santana smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I promise."

Standing up, Santana turned to the only person she hadn't hugged yet. Brittany looked nervous, her eyes holding an intense sadness that Santana had never seen before. The brunette's heart clenched uncomfortably in her chest as she stepped forward. "Brittany…"

"I'll bring your suitcase to the car." Miguel announced, causing Santana to sigh in relief.

She waited until her brother was gone before she closed the distance between Brittany and her and pulled the taller woman into a hug. The rest of her family was still watching them so she knew she had to be careful. A happy sigh escaped her mouth when she felt Brittany's arms wrap around her waist and she closed her eyes. She lightly pressed her lips to the shell of Brittany's ear and whispered softly, making sure no one else could hear her. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay." Brittany whispered back, tightening her hold. "I'll miss you."

Santana fought the urge to press a kiss to her cheek. "I'll miss you too."

Realizing that the hug had probably already lasted longer than usual hugs, Santana reluctantly pulled back. Her eyes met Brittany's and she smiled softly, silently trying to tell her that everything was going to be okay. Brittany returned the smile and gave her a small, barely visible nod in response.

"So I guess this is it." Santana said as she turned back to her family.

"Don't be a stranger, baby sis." Sofia told her playfully but seriously.

"I won't be." Santana reassured her.

She stepped outside and walked towards the car alongside her dad, looking over her shoulder to give her family a small wave. Her eyes lingered on Brittany's a little longer before she forced herself to look away. Taking a deep breath, Santana got into the passenger's seat. She didn't know what the upcoming time would bring her but she was prepared for anything.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: _Hello. I hope everyone had a nice Christmas :) Thanks for the reviews.

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><p><strong>Chapter 7.<strong>

"Quinn?" Santana called out, kicking the door shut behind her. There was no response and she realized that Quinn wasn't there. She couldn't help but feel relieved. She had told her best friend everything about Brittany over the phone and she probably had a lot of questions but Santana didn't really feel like talking about it right now. She sighed and sat down on the couch, trying to force herself to relax.

It didn't take long before she found herself thinking about Brittany again and she sighed in frustration. She knew that she should give the blonde some space to figure everything out but she needed to know that she was doing okay. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she sent her a quick text message to ask if she could call her.

Less than a minute later, her phone rang and she quickly picked up. "Hey."

"San." Brittany spoke in a soft voice.

Santana frowned slightly. "Is everything okay?"

"I miss you already." Brittany admitted. Santana felt her heart break at how small she sounded. She hated being so far away from Brittany and she wanted nothing more than to hold her in her arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright. She wanted to say all that but Brittany didn't give her the chance. "How was your flight?"

"It was fine." Santana told her, leaning back in her seat. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her free arm around them. "Have you had time to think yet?"

"San." Brittany spoke pleadingly. "I'm going to break up with him. I promise you I am but I can't right now. I just can't yet."

Santana closed her eyes and tried not to let her emotions get the best of her. "Okay."

"Please don't be mad at me." Brittany said softly and Santana could hear the pain in her voice. "I'm going to make this right. I don't know how yet but we'll be together soon."

"I know, Britt." Santana told her in a soothing voice, not wanting her to get upset. She had promised to give Brittany time and she was going to keep that promise. She just didn't know how long she could keep this up. "I just hate lying to him."

"Me too." Brittany whispered. They were both silent for a while until Brittany inhaled deeply and said, "I have to go but I'll call you soon."

"Okay." Santana pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and hesitated for a moment before adding, "I love you."

"I love you too." Came the confident reply.

Santana waited for Brittany to hang up before she put her phone aside. She got off the couch and started pacing the room. She had never felt so anxious before. She couldn't help but worry about what would happen if they told Miguel. He would probably never want to see her again and her family, with the exception of her father, would probably share those feelings. The thought of losing her family hurt but the thought of losing Brittany hurt even more. Before it could come to this, however, Brittany had to break up with Miguel first and Santana didn't know how long it was going to take before that happened.

She decided that a shower might calm her down a bit so she quickly headed into the bathroom. When she returned to the living room less than 20 minutes later, Quinn was home. The blonde smiled and walked up to her. "Hey, you're back."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"I'm glad to see you're still your bitchy self." Quinn said with a roll of her eyes, pulling her friend into a hug. They broke apart and she smiled. "I got some Chinese food on the way home."

"Awesome." Santana cheered. She hadn't eaten all day and she was starving.

They sat down on the couch and made small talk as they ate. Santana was surprised that Quinn hadn't brought up Brittany yet. Quinn probably understood that she didn't want to talk about it and for once she was glad that her best friend knew her so well. Santana glanced at the clock every now and then, her nerves getting worse by the minute. She knew that Miguel would be coming home from work around this time. The thought of him spending time with Brittany unsettled her more than anything. The thought of him touching and kissing Brittany made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Are you okay, San?" Quinn asked worriedly.

Santana knew that if she spoke she would probably burst out into tears so instead she just shook her head. Quinn looked at her with sympathetic eyes and placed her plate on the table before taking Santana's plate from her hands and setting it down as well. She wrapped her arms around Santana and guided her head to her shoulder. Santana immediately lost all control over her emotions, sobs taking over her body. Quinn had never seen her best friend this upset before and shushed her gently, not sure of what else to do. "Shh it's okay, sweetie."

She continued to whisper comforting things as Santana cried. It broke her heart to see her friend like this and she waited patiently for her to calm down. After a while Santana stopped crying but Quinn didn't let go of the shaking girl.

"You really love her, don't you?" She whispered as she stroked her hair.

"More than you know." Santana answered the question, smiling a bit at the thought of Brittany. "From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew my heart belongs to her."

She could hear the smile in Quinn's voice when she spoke. "Then I'm confident that everything will work out."

* * *

><p>The next couple of days were extremely stressful for her. She spoke to Brittany on the phone as much as she could but she still missed her immensely. Every time Brittany reassured her that she was going to break up with Miguel, the more she was starting to doubt that she was actually going to. On top of that, she was busy at work since they had recently signed another new artist to the label.<p>

Santana arrived at the studio almost half an hour late the day. There was chaos everywhere because of how slippery the roads were, much to her annoyance. She got out of her car and quickly made her way inside. Santana had first come into contact with her boss, Will, through a mutual friend and he had offered her an internship. He was very pleased with her work so after a year or so, it turned into a fulltime job. Mercedes was hired not long after and Santana had instantly gotten along with her.

Today, they would be introduced to a young, new talent and Santana couldn't help but feel curious. Will was clearly very enthusiastic about the girl. However, it didn't take long for Santana to change her mind about her since she was even later than she had been.

Finally, a tall brunette came rushing through the door. Her cheeks were flustered and her hair was slightly messy. "I'm so sorry for being late."

"That's okay." Will laughed his creepy laugh. "This is Santana and this is Mercedes. You'll be working with them most of the time."

The girl smiled and gave them a small wave. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. My name is Marley."

"We don't care." Santana mumbled, earning a glare from Mercedes who quickly took over the conversation.

"We're excited to be working with you, Marley. Will has told us nothing but great things about you. The first couple of months will be focused on writing so you won't be recording yet but we can show you around if you'd like."

"That would be awesome." Marley said happily.

Santana had to admit that her excitement was contagious.

They walked out of the room and down the hallway. They entered another room with a bunch of big sound boards with lots of buttons, switches and knobs. There was a sound proof recording part behind the glass where all the microphones and instruments were standing.

"This is so cool." Marley whispered in awe.

"Would you like to play something?" Mercedes asked. They had already heard Marley's demo but listening to someone live was always different.

Marley nodded and made her way into the recording room. Santana sighed and sat down in her chair as Marley picked up a guitar. Santana tried to concentrate on the song but her mind quickly wandered off. She wondered if Brittany was thinking about her right now. She clenched her jaw when images of Miguel holding her crossed her mind.

"Hey, are you okay?" Mercedes's concerned voice snapped Santana out of thoughts. She continued once Santana had nodded. "So, what happened while you were at your parents'?"

Santana frowned. "What do you mean?"

Mercedes shot her a look. "You've been acting strange since you got back, Satan. Now spill."

"I met someone." Santana finally admitted, glancing at Marley who was still strumming her guitar. "Her name is Brittany."

Mercedes leaned back in her chair to look at her face more clearly and a knowing look spread across her features. "You're in love."

"Shut up." Santana groaned, not in the mood to be teased by her friend.

"But seriously, if you're in love with this Brittany girl…" Mercedes continued, arching an eyebrow at her. "Then why aren't you with her right now?"

"It's complicated." Santana mumbled. Mercedes crossed her arms over her chest and continued to stare at her, silently telling her to start talking. Santana sighed and finally decided to just tell her the truth. She avoided eye-contact at all costs as she explained everything to Mercedes. Once she was finished talking, her shoulders slumped as the feeling of guilt overwhelmed her once again. "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"

"No, you're not." Mercedes looked at her seriously. "You can't help who you fall in love with."

Santana couldn't help but laugh at this. "You're the third person who has told me that."

"Well it's the truth." Mercedes shrugged.

A few moments of silence passed before Santana spoke again. "I don't know what to do."

"Hey." Mercedes called out softly, placing her hand on her shoulder. "If it's meant to be, she'll find her way to you."

"I hope you're right." Santana said softly, unconvinced.

* * *

><p>The following day passed in a similar way. Brittany still called her multiple times but their conversations were filled with tension. Santana kept asking Brittany if she had talked to Miguel yet and the blonde would always come up with some kind of excuse. It drove Santana crazy. She just wanted to know if there was a chance of having a future together or if she was just wasting her time.<p>

Santana had to go into work that day. She spent the first half of the day working out lyrics with Mercedes. It was hard to focus though when her mind was constantly on Brittany and the situation she had gotten herself in. She was distracted and Mercedes noticed.

"Are you even listening?" Her annoyed voice pulled Santana from her thoughts. She blinked and looked at her friend, confused. Mercedes sighed. "I was suggesting adding a third verse but never mind. What's up?"

"Nothing." Santana replied.

Mercedes turned her head and arched an eyebrow at her. "Is it Brittany again?" Santana opened her mouth to protest but Mercedes didn't give her the chance. "Don't even try to deny it, Santana. I'm not sure what's going on between the two of you but please figure it out soon."

Santana looked down at her lap, feeling a blush creep onto her cheeks. "I just want to be with her but she still hasn't broken up with Miguel and I'm not sure if she ever will."

Mercedes's eyes softened. She abandoned her work and turned in her seat to fully face Santana. "I'm sorry, Santana. Have you asked her about this?"

"And risk scaring her away?" Santana asked, lifting her head. "I know how terrible she feels about breaking up with Miguel because she doesn't want to hurt him. I promised to give her some time but now I'm starting to realize that the longer we keep lying to him, the more it'll hurt him." She paused and shook her head in frustration. "And this is only the breaking up part. We're going to have to tell him about us eventually too. I don't even know if there is an 'us'."

Mercedes was silent for a few moments. The passion in Santana's brown eyes surprised her. It usually took a lot longer for the brunette to warm up to people so the fact that Brittany had stolen her heart in such a short period of time proved how much she loved her. "Then why don't you tell her all this?" She asked.

"I don't know." Santana mumbled, leaning back in her chair and biting her bottom lip. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I don't want to lose her but… right now I don't have her at all."

"Talking to her won't hurt." Mercedes said with a shrug. She looked at Santana for a moment and smirked. "You're turning into a softie, Lopez."

"Shut up." Santana rolled her eyes.

The next couple of hours passed by relatively quickly and Marley arrived at the studio around lunchtime. Santana didn't know the brunette that well but Mercedes didn't seem to like her very much. Apparently she was a pain in the ass to work with. Santana felt a little guilty that she had left her friend to deal with her on her own for the past few days.

Santana was just pouring herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen when Marley walked into the room. She smiled shyly. "Oh hi, Santana."

"Hey." Santana nodded at her. She usually trusted Mercedes's judgment but so far she didn't have any reason to dislike Marley. She actually seemed pretty nice. Santana held up the coffeepot. "Do you want some?"

Marley nodded gratefully. Santana poured her a cup and handed it to her before taking a seat at the table. Marley walked over to the fridge and grabbed her lunch. "Aren't you having anything?" She asked Santana as she sat down next to her.

Santana took a sip from her coffee before answering the question. "I'm not hungry." She explained. The truth was that she had forgotten her lunch at home but she wasn't going to admit that. The loud growl of her stomach said the words for her though.

"It doesn't sound like you're not hungry." Marley smirked. "Do you want to go out and get something to eat?"

Santana looked at her in surprise. She hesitated for a few moments but then shook her head, "No, thank you. My lunch break is almost over. Maybe some other time though."

"Okay." Marley smiled brightly. "I'd like that."

Santana's breath hitched slightly in her throat, thinking of all the times that Brittany had told her that. A sad feeling washed over her. She sighed and forced herself to return the smile as she got up and walked passed Marley.

* * *

><p>"Have you talked to him yet?" Santana asked as she stared out of the window, even though she already knew the answer.<p>

"I'm really trying, Santana." Brittany spoke pleadingly on the other end of the line. "But every time I want to finally tell him, he'll say something sweet or he'll do something nice and then I just feel so bad."

"Well, how do you think I feel?" Santana raised her voice, tightening her grip on her phone. "I can't stand the thought of him kissing you, of him touching you. He gets to sleep next to you every night and it makes me feel sick!"

"We haven't had sex in weeks." Brittany replied hesitantly.

Santana pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "That is not the point, Brittany."

"I'm sorry." Brittany whispered and Santana could hear the pain in her voice. She couldn't bring herself to comfort the other woman though. Not when she was hurting so much herself. She listened to the sound of Brittany's breathing for a few moments until the blonde spoke again. "I will tell him tonight. I really will."

"I've heard that before." Santana rolled her eyes.

"Santana…"

"A girl asked me out on a date today." Santana suddenly blurted out.

She heard Brittany's breath hitch and when she spoke, her voice was laced with an emotion that she had never heard before. "W-What?"

"New Year's Eve is in just a few days." Santana continued in a calm voice, crossing her free arm over her chest defensively. "I was hoping that we could spend it together somehow but I guess that I was stupid to believe that." She bit the inside of her cheek in hesitation before adding, "Maybe I'll spend it with Marley instead."

"Marley?" Brittany echoed, sounding distressed.

"The girl who asked me out on a date."

"Santana." Brittany said her name in a small voice, sounding more vulnerable than ever, and Santana hated herself for making her feel this way. She knew she had promised Brittany to give her time and it had only been a few days but she just couldn't stop herself. She was too frustrated and confused. "Please don't do this. You promised that you wouldn't give up on me."

"I know." Santana mumbled. "But it's hard when you don't give me anything to hold onto."

"San…"

"I have to go." Santana said quickly, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. Without waiting for a response, she ended the call and shoved her phone into her pocket. She closed her eyes in a desperate attempt to keep her tears at bay but it wasn't long before they were rolling freely down her cheeks.

She knew that thing would be hard but she hadn't been prepared for this.

* * *

><p>"After we finish writing, all we have to do is make a selection of songs you want to be on your album." Santana said that afternoon, spinning in her chair to face Marley who was busy messing with her guitar. "Then we can start recording."<p>

"Sounds good to me." Marley smiled. She hopped off her stool and put her guitar away. "So, how about we go get some lunch? You promised me a rain check."

Santana thought for a second but then nodded once. "Sure. Do you want to join us, 'Cedes?"

Mercedes looked up from her work and shot her a glare. "No, thank you."

Santana just shrugged. She grabbed her coat and purse before following Marley outside. It was cold and snowing lightly. Her thoughts wandered to Brittany and a painful ache settled in her chest when she realized that she had deliberately hurt the blonde just because she was hurting herself.

She suddenly felt horrible.

"Where do you want to go?" Marley's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"I know a nice place." Santana replied, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "We can take my car."

A while later, they were sitting in the restaurant that Santana had picked out with a plate of food in front of them. Their conversation flowed really easily and Santana had to admit that Marley was a nice girl with a good sense of humor. She couldn't picture anything more than friendship happening between them though. Santana kept catching herself comparing all the things Marley did to Brittany. The blue eyed blonde was constantly on her mind and she couldn't stand it.

Santana had never been the type to lead girls on so she decided to be honest with Marley about it.

"Marley," She began in a serious tone, earning a confused look from Marley, "I think you're an amazing person but I figured that I should just let you know beforehand that I, uh…"

"You have feelings for somebody else." Marley finished the sentence for her.

Santana's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "How did you know?"

"It's pretty obvious that your mind is somewhere else right now." Marley explained, smiling softly. "Don't worry about it, Santana. Whoever the reason is behind that dreamy look on your face should consider themself lucky."

"Thanks Marley." Santana said, a light blush tinting her cheeks. "We can still be friends, right?"

"Of course. You won't get rid of me that easily." Marley replied playfully. She leaned back in her seat and continued in a more serious tone. "So, does this person feel the same way about you?"

Santana sighed and distractedly moved the salad around on her plate. "I don't know anymore."

* * *

><p>"Damn it!" Santana yelled, throwing her phone on the couch only to pick it back up three seconds later.<p>

Brittany hadn't called her all day and she was beginning to grow worried. She tried to convince herself that Brittany must've lost her phone but deep down she knew better than that. She let out a frustrated sigh as she listened to Brittany's voicemail again, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She wondered if she had finally pushed the woman too far and had lost her for good.

"Calm down, Santana." Quinn said calmly, following Santana with her eyes as she paced around the room.

"How am I supposed to calm down when Brittany is ignoring me?" Santana yelled, wildly gesturing with her hands. "I hurt her, Quinn. I was just trying to make her jealous because I thought that maybe then she'd realize what it's like to feel that way."

Before she had the chance to call Brittany again, Quinn snatched the phone out of her hands. "Stop it." She said in a stern voice. "No offense to Brittany but she has no right to judge you when she's the one with a boyfriend.

Santana sighed, knowing that Quinn was right. She lowered herself on the couch and buried her face in her hands. "I'm just worried."

"You should go to bed, San." Quinn told her in a soft voice.

"I can't be asleep when she calls."

"It's way past midnight. She's not going to call anymore." Quinn took in the sight of her best friend for a moment and squeezed her shoulder to get her attention. "Come on, you look exhausted."

Santana was indeed exhausted. She hadn't slept in almost 24 hours. Not wanting to pass out from lack of sleep, she reluctantly agreed and pushed herself upright. Quinn watched as Santana dragged herself into her bedroom and shook her head in disapproval. She sincerely hoped that Brittany would get her act together soon.

Santana woke up early the next morning and was disappointed to see that she had no messages from Brittany. When she walked into the kitchen, Quinn was sitting at the counter with a bowl of cereal in front of her. Santana mumbled some words of greeting and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Still no word from Brittany?" Quinn guessed, her eyes sympathetic.

Santana just shook her head and silence fell over them. Not knowing what was going with Brittany right now almost killed her. There were so many emotions going through her that she felt sick. After realizing that calling was useless she had sent Brittany multiple texts but of course she didn't respond to those either. She thought that maybe her worst fear of losing Brittany was coming true.

"I have to go to work, will you be alright?" Quinn's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Santana tried to reassure her friend.

"Promise me that you'll call me when you need me." Quinn looked at her for a few seconds with concerned eyes before she got up from her chair and gathered her things. "Don't count on me for dinner."

"Okay." Santana offered her friend a smile. "Now go, I don't want you to be late because of me."

Quinn returned the smile and walked out the door, leaving Santana by herself.

She sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. She flicked through every channel before turning it back off. Nothing could take her mind off Brittany. She checked her phone again but there were still no messages. She sighed and tears welled up in her eyes. Why wouldn't Brittany call her?

She startled at the sound of a knock on the door and almost jumped up. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone so she remained quiet in the hope that they would leave. Another round of knocks sounded, more urgently this time, and Santana sighed before reluctantly crossing the apartment.

She yanked the door open and her jaw dropped in surprise. "Brittany."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

Santana's initial reaction was to be angry with Brittany for worrying her so much but those feelings were instantly forgotten when she saw the state the other woman was in. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were stained with tears. She looked absolutely miserable and it broke Santana's heart. She immediately reached out and wrapped her arms around the fragile blonde, cooing into her ear. "Britt…"

"I'm sorry." Brittany choked out as she tried not to burst into tears, burying her face in the curve of Santana's neck. She let her bag fall to the floor, her arms now hanging limply by her sides. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh." Santana shushed her gently, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She sighed in relief when she felt Brittany's arms wrap around her waist, finally hugging her back. There were a million questions running through her mind but she pushed them away, focusing all her attention on the crying woman in her arms. She rubbed Brittany's back, waiting for her to calm down a bit, before asking, "What are you doing here?"

"I-I just had to see you." Brittany explained through her sniffles. She pulled back slightly, her eyes locking with warm brown ones. "I-I…" She couldn't get the words out, fresh tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh honey." Santana whispered, wrapping her arm around Brittany's waist. She closed the door and gently guided her into the living room. They sat down on the couch and Brittany rested her head on Santana's shoulder as the brunette held her tightly. Santana had no idea what was going on but it felt so good to have Brittany in her arms again. She wished that they could just sit there, holding each other, but they had to talk.

"What happened, Britt?" She finally broke the silence.

Brittany furiously wiped at her eyes as she tried to find her voice. "I did it."

"You did it?" Santana echoed questioningly, not quite sure what to make of Brittany's words.

"As soon as you hung up I talked to Miguel." Brittany explained, looking at her with the saddest pools of blue. Santana felt a wave of guilt surge through her body when she thought back to their phone call and she instinctively reached out for Brittany's hand, giving it a soft squeeze. Brittany smiled a bit at the small but meaningful gesture. "I realized how close I was to losing you and I… I can't lose you, San. I just can't."

"You won't." Santana soothed her, running her thumb over the back of Brittany's hand. Now that she was here with Brittany, everything felt right again and she knew that she could never really let her go. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "So you broke up with Miguel?"

"Yeah." Brittany whispered, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to keep her tears at bay. "I told him that I'm not in love with him."

Santana nodded, finding it harder to breathe. "How did he take it?"

"He was hurt." Brittany said quietly, looking down at their joined hands. "He wasn't mad and said he understood but I could tell how badly it hurt him."

Santana cupped Brittany's cheek with her free hand, tilting her face back up. Blue eyes met hers and she tried to smile as reassuringly as she could. "You did the right thing."

"I still feel bad though." Brittany mumbled, her eyes flickering away. She bit her lip and shook her head, her features twisted in disappointment. Disappointment that was directed to no one but herself. "I messed everything up. I didn't want to hurt Miguel but I ended up hurting you and now I've hurt you both. I'm so sorry."

"Brittany, look at me." Santana said firmly but gently. Brittany's eyes hesitantly met hers and her lips formed into a soft smile, her thumb caressing the blonde's cheek in an attempt to calm her. "Yeah I was hurt and jealous, I'm not going to deny it, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I knew what I was getting myself into."

"I was just scared." Brittany admitted, her shoulders drooping.

"I know." Santana told her, leaning in and brushing their lips together. She watched as Brittany's eyes automatically fluttered closed and she felt her heart expand in her chest. Angling her head to the side, she gently captured Brittany's lips with her own, sighing into the contact. The kiss was short and simple but it still held so much meaning. Pulling back, Santana lightly stroked her thumb over Brittany's bottom lip. "What matters most is that you're here now."

Brittany nodded in agreement. "What are we going to do?"

"Well firstly," Santana began, pressing another kiss to her lips. "It looks like you could use a nap."

"San…" Brittany whispered, leaning into her touch. "We have to talk about this. I haven't told Miguel about us yet." Her eyes darted around Santana's face, forgetting about everything around them. "I don't even know what it is that we have exactly. All I know is that it feels right."

"We will talk." Santana said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But later. Right now I just want to hold you."

Brittany smiled and finally gave in with a nod. They stood up and Santana guided Brittany into her bedroom, their hands clasped tightly together. Brittany's eyes scanned the apartment carefully on their way, taking in every inch. "I really like your place, San."

"Thanks." Santana said with an appreciative smile.

"I'm glad I still remembered your address from when Miguel told me." Brittany continued, tiredly rubbing her eyes with her hand. She looked absolutely adorable and Santana felt a familiar flutter in her heart. She set the blonde down on her bed and knelt in front of her as she rambled on. "I was too scared to call you because I didn't know if you'd want me here. I had to see you though so right after I broke up with Miguel, I packed my bags and just left. I just left like that."

"Did Miguel not try to stop you?" Santana asked, placing her hands on Brittany's knees.

Brittany shook her head. "I guess he knew that there was no point."

"Well I'm glad you came here." Santana said softly, reaching out to take Brittany's hand in her own. She lifted it to her lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her palm. "Won't you get into trouble with work though?"

"I took some time off." Brittany explained, nervously looking into Santana's eyes. "I just wanted to be with you so we can finally have the chance to figure everything out."

Santana smiled and stood up straight. She cupped Brittany's cheek in her hand and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, before moving up to nuzzle her nose into her hair. "I'll go grab your bag so you can change into some more comfortable clothes."

Brittany simply nodded and watched as she left the room, her expression sad but hopeful.

About fifteen minutes later, they were cuddled up in bed together. Santana was lying on her back with Brittany cuddled into her side. The blonde's head was resting comfortably on her chest, her arm draped over her waist, and their legs were tangled together. Santana's heart was beating furiously, not because she was scared or nervous but because being with Brittany like this felt more right than anything and she never wanted the moment to end.

"Santana?" Brittany whispered, craning her neck to press a kiss to the underside of Santana's jaw.

Santana hummed in acknowledgment. "What is it?"

"I know you're worried about what will happen." Brittany said softly, her thumb rubbing random patterns over Santana's clothed stomach. "I guess I just want you to know that I love you and even if things get hard, I will still fight for us because I don't want anyone but you."

Santana's breathing faltered slightly as her heart burst with love all over again. She pressed her lips to Brittany's forehead and held the contact for a moment before pulling back. "The same goes for me, Britt." She hesitated for a moment before adding, "I know the circumstances weren't ideal but I'm so glad that I met you."

Brittany smiled and snuggled a little closer, letting out a content sigh. Santana tightened her arms around the blonde and closed her eyes, deciding that a nap couldn't hurt.

* * *

><p>When Santana woke up a little while later, Brittany was still fast asleep in her arms. A smile lit up her face before she could stop it and her entire body buzzed with happiness. She brushed some hair away from the taller woman's face and kissed her gently on the cheek. She knew that they had a hard time ahead of them but none of that mattered right now.<p>

"Stop staring at me." Brittany mumbled sleepily.

Santana's smile widened. "I'm not."

"I can feel your eyes on me." Brittany complained as her eyelids slowly fluttered open. She blinked up at Santana and soon her lips curled up into a smile too. "Hi."

"Hey." Santana whispered back.

Brittany pulled herself up and placed her forearms on each side of Santana's head so that she was hovering over her. She leaned down and gently captured Santana's lips with her own, her long hair creating a curtain around them. Santana moaned as Brittany nibbled on her bottom lip, wrapping her arms around the blonde's shoulders. She was surrounded by Brittany and she wouldn't want it any other way.

She pulled back and lifted her hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear. "We should talk."

"Okay." Brittany said, a nervous expression flashing across her face. She folded her arms just below Santana's breasts and rested her chin on them, looking up at her with an innocent expression. She chewed on her bottom lip in thought for a moment before sighing. "I don't know where to start."

Santana brought her hand to Brittany's head and slowly ran her fingers through her soft hair. "Me neither."

"I really want to be with you." Brittany blurted out, her cheeks tinting pink.

"I want to be with you too, Britt." Santana said softly, lightly scratching the blonde's scalp. "Where do we go from here?"

A sad expression washed over Brittany's features. "I guess we'll have to talk to Miguel at some point."

"Yeah we should." Santana agreed, feeling her stomach clench uncomfortably. The thought of telling her brother the truth scared her more than anything but she knew that she couldn't avoid it forever. "I'll call him later to see how he's doing." Brittany simply nodded and Santana looked at her for a moment, once again drowning in her ocean blue orbs. "But right now I don't want to think about that just yet."

Brittany let out a sigh that seemed to be one of relief and leaned up to press a sweet kiss to the other woman's lips. She smiled shyly. "I'm so in love with you, Santana Lopez."

Santana felt butterflies erupt in her stomach all over again. "I'm so in love with you too, Brittany Pierce."

Brittany looked at her lovingly before a thoughtful expression crossed her face. "Don't you have work today?"

"I'm supposed to be working from home." Santana informed her. "But for now, no more talking."

She curled her hand around the back of Brittany's neck and gently pulled her down, bringing their lips together in another kiss. Brittany immediately melted into the touch, her lips moving against Santana's full ones just as eagerly. A soft whimper escaped her throat when Santana trailed her tongue across her bottom lip, requesting entry. She granted her access and the kiss quickly grew in heat as their tongues met.

Wanting to taste more of Santana's skin that looked oh so inviting, Brittany broke the kiss, letting her lips travel up Santana's jaw. The brunette's breathing sped up as Brittany nibbled on her skin, moving up to her ear and lightly biting down on her earlobe. She moaned and wrapped her arms around Brittany's shoulders, letting her eyes fall closed as the taller woman manipulated her body in the best possible ways.

"You're so beautiful." Brittany whispered into Santana's ear before she swiped her tongue over the sensitive area just below it, causing her to shudder. Her lips traveled down Santana's neck, sucking and biting on the tan skin before soothing the spots with gentle kisses. All her senses were invaded by Santana and she was already embarrassingly aroused, her mind clouded with nothing but the need and desire to be with the woman who had stolen her heart.

"Britt." Santana breathed out shakily, her nails digging into Brittany's shoulders. She gasped when the blonde sucked on her pulsepoint, momentarily leaving her unable to form any coherent words, let alone sentences. When she finally found her voice, it sounded huskier than ever. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Brittany pulled back to look at her, her eyes a shade darker than usual. She licked her lips, suddenly looking a little nervous and Santana never wanted her to feel that way around her. She gently ran her fingers through Brittany's slightly messy hair as the blonde spoke softly. "Only if you are."

"I want you." Santana whispered.

Her words were simple but the way Brittany's face lit up meant everything. She cupped Brittany's cheek and pulled her into another kiss. Their lips moved together so naturally, as if it was always meant to be this way, and Santana was certain that no matter what happened, she wouldn't trade this feeling for the world.

Brittany's hands traveled down Santana's body and she curled her fingers around the hem of her t-shirt, reluctantly breaking their kiss to wait for a sign of permission. Santana nodded and allowed Brittany to remove to item of clothing, watching as she hurriedly threw it aside. Her cheeks heated up as Brittany's eyes roamed over her body, taking in her bra-clad chest. Brittany smiled, her eyes flickering up to meet Santana's dark ones. "Can I?"

Instead of replying, Santana took Brittany's hands and brought them to her chest. Brittany cupped her breasts, her fingers hesitant in their movements as she took her time exploring Santana's body. Santana's chest heaved with every deep breath she took and she decided that she need more than this. Sitting upright, she unclasped her bra and let it fall off her arms, watching as Brittany bit her lip when her breasts were revealed. Santana settled back down comfortably and Brittany wasted no time, leaning down to enclose her lips around her hardened nipple.

"Fuck." Santana breathed out, tangling her fingers into Brittany's hair. Brittany swirled her tongue around her nipple, sucking on it, as her hand moved up to massage her other breast. Santana was a squirming mess beneath her, soft whimpers falling from her swollen lips as arousal continued to build in the pit of her stomach. Cupping Brittany's cheek in her hand, she forced the blonde to pull back, smiling reassuringly when she looked at her in confusion. "You're wearing too much clothes."

Brittany quickly yanked her t-shirt over her head, leaving her in just her bra. She blushed a little when Santana reached behind her back but nodded confidently and let the brunette remove the dark-colored material. Santana swallowed thickly at the sight of Brittany's small but perky breasts, feeling her heart beat rapidly in her chest. She cupped both of Brittany's cheeks and pulled her into a kiss, guiding them backwards and opening her legs so that the blonde could settle in between them.

A gasp left Santana's mouth when Brittany grinded their centers together, sending a strong wave of pleasure up and down her spine. She placed her hands on Brittany's hips and helped her move, their bodies rocking together smoothly. She pulled Brittany's bottom lip between her teeth and bit down on it, making her whimper. Their breasts rubbed together as they moved together faster and faster and Santana could basically feel her wetness soak through her panties. She broke the kiss and pulled back just enough to see Brittany's face, their breaths mingling together.

"You're going to make me come already." She admitted, far too aroused to feel embarrassed. Her hands tightened on Brittany's hips as she guided her into a slower rhythm. Brittany buried her face against Santana's shoulder and the brunette tilted her head to press a kiss to her cheek. "I want to see you."

Brittany got the message and pulled back. She hooked her fingers into the sides of her sweatpants and slowly dragged them down her legs, Santana watching her intently with hooded eyes. Biting her lip, Brittany went to remove her panties but paused at the last moment, her eyes locking with brown ones that were almost black now. "You too."

Santana nodded in understanding and made quick work of taking off her pants. She kept her eyes on Brittany as she slowly removed her underwear, smirking slightly when the blonde parted her lips to allow her heavy breathing. Soon they were both completely naked and Brittany settled in between Santana's parted legs again, her hands placed on either side of her head. Santana craned her neck to press a chaste kiss to Brittany's lips before she smiled softly. "You're gorgeous."

The blush that had just left Brittany's face returned in full force and Santana's smile widened at how adorable she was. Brittany lowered herself so that there fronts were pressed flush together and captured her lips in another kiss. Their centers came into contact and they both moaned at the feeling. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist as she deepened the kiss, gasping into her mouth when their clits bumped together.

Brittany began a slow trail of kisses down Santana's neck as they continued to rock together in a fast tempo. She could hear Santana's moans in her ear and it felt as if every nerve within her body had been set aflame as she listened to the sounds. They drove each other higher and higher to the edge, their juices mixing together as their centers grinded together. Santana let out a whimper, she was so close, but suddenly Brittany slowed down and pulled back to look at her.

Santana bit her lip as Brittany's hand slowly traveled down, gliding along her stomach at a painfully slow pace. She was just about to complain when Brittany's fingers grazed over her clit and she let out a moan, throwing her head back on the pillow. She placed her hands on Brittany's shoulders, needing something to hold onto to keep herself grounded, as the blonde slowly explored her folds with care. She gathered Santana's wetness and brought it up to her clit, applying enough pressure to make her thighs quiver uncontrollably.

"Britt please." Santana whispered, her eyes squeezed shut. She wasn't one to beg but she couldn't think clearly right now. Every part of her body longed for Brittany's touch, leaving her desperate for her to do _something_. She shivered when she felt delicate lips attach to the side of her neck and her grip on Brittany's shoulders tightened. Her jaw dropped as Brittany's fingers slowly circled her entrance before two digits entered her gently. "_Yes!_"

Brittany held still for a moment, relishing in the feeling of tight walls pulling her in deeper, before she slowly started to pump in and out of Santana's wet center. Her eyes stayed on Santana's face the entire time, watching as she panted heavily, her cheeks flushed from arousal. Her thrusts were smooth and her rhythm was steady, building the brunette up faster than she had thought possible.

"So good." Santana mumbled, her words barely coherent as a result of her heavy breathing. She spread her legs wider, pressing her knees against Brittany's hips to give her better access. Brittany used her body to put more force behind her thrusts and she leaned down to take Santana's breast into her mouth, her tongue darting out to taste the smooth skin around her nipple. A loud moan tumbled from Santana's lips, the pleasure almost overwhelming her. "Hmm don't stop."

Brittany had no intention of stopping. She wished that this moment could last forever. Being able to touch Santana like this, seeing her so vulnerable and exposed, made her fall in love with her all over again. She lightly bit down on Santana's nipple before releasing it and pulling back. She buried her face against Santana's neck, her own breathing speeding up too. She had never been this turned on in her life. Her center was dripping with need and she was desperate for some friction.

As if sensing her thoughts, Santana glided her hand down Brittany's stomach, feeling the muscles twitch under her touch, until she reached her throbbing clit. She began to rub fast circles around the bundle of nerves and Brittany's movements faltered slightly as she moaned, her lips vibrating against the skin of Santana's neck. She squeezed her eyes shut, waves of pleasure coursing through her body as Santana rubbed her clit with expertise.

Brittany sped up her pace, curling her fingers with each strong pump of her hand, and she could tell that Santana was close by the way her walls fluttered rhythmically. She trailed her tongue over the throbbing vein in Santana's neck before she sucked on it, feeling Santana's body writhe beneath her. She placed kisses down the column of the smaller woman's throat as her thumb gently flicked over her clit, doubling her pleasure.

Santana was only able to last for a few moments longer before she froze. A loud gasp escaped her lips before her entire body shuddered, her orgasm crashing over her in strong waves, Her walls clenched tightly, trapping Brittany's fingers inside of her. The blonde gently brought her down from her high, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of her mouth before capturing her lips in a deep kiss. Santana tried to kiss her back as best as she could, her lips moving lazily against eager ones.

After they pulled back, Santana took a moment to compose herself before a droopy smile spread across her face. "That was amazing."

Brittany gave her a satisfied smile in return but didn't say anything. Santana tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes took in the sight of the other woman. Her normally clear blue eyes were now dark and clouded over with arousal. Her entire face was flushed and her hair was tousled. Santana's hand was still firmly tucked in between her legs and she shivered, feeling Brittany's wetness drip onto her palm.

Santana slowly ran her fingers up and down Brittany's folds, deliberately avoiding her clit, and the blonde closed her eyes. Santana brought her other hand to Brittany's breast, gently massaging the soft flesh and letting her thumb graze her erect nipple. Brittany's breathing faltered slightly as she struggled to keep herself upright. She bucked her hips into Santana's hand, desperate to ease the aching feeling that was driving her insane. "San I-I'm so close."

Santana quickly retracted her hand, smirking when Brittany whimpered loudly in protest. She used the moment to flip her over, settling on top of her and leaning down to bring their lips together in a kiss. Brittany sighed into her mouth, her hands finding their way to Santana's hips to pull her closer. Santana's stomach was pressed against her center and with every movement she made, sparks of pleasure shot through her veins and she could barely stand it anymore. Her hips started to buck up on their own accord and Santana finally decided to take pity on her. She broke the kiss and waited for dazed blue eyes to flutter open.

She smirked at Brittany before she started to kiss her way down the blonde's stomach, pausing to dip her tongue into her belly button. Brittany tangled her fingers into Santana's hair as she made her way to where she needed her most. Her thighs trembled in anticipation, the sight of Santana's face in between her legs not something she would forget easily. She groaned when the brunette poked out her tongue and slowly slid it through her wet folds, her hips canting up again before she could stop them. Her clit was throbbing and begging for attention and she knew that even the slightest bit of pressure would push her over the edge.

Her fingers tightened in Santana's hair, urging her on. Santana let her hump her face for a moment before she finally gave in and placed her hands on Brittany's thighs to keep her still. She wrapped her lips around Brittany's clit and sucked. Hard. Brittany whimpered loudly and threw her arm over her face when she finally came, her body convulsing. Santana greedily licked up Brittany's juices, humming at the taste, as her fingers gently massaged the taller woman's thighs.

Finally, Brittany's body stopped shaking and her grip on Santana's hair loosened. Santana kissed her way back up Brittany's stomach until she was hovering over her. Brittany's arm was still thrown over her face and Santana gently kissed her wrist before prying it away. Brittany's face was bright red and her eyes were squeezed shut. Santana frowned worriedly and caressed her cheek for a moment before speaking softly. "Are you okay?"

Brittany let out a shuddering breath and nodded slowly. "I-I've never come so fast in my life."

Santana grinned smugly before she kissed the tip of Brittany's nose. "Hey, there's no need to feel embarrassed."

Brittany slowly blinked her eyes open, her lips forming into a cute pout. She was blushing furiously and Santana couldn't help but smile at how cute she was being. She pressed a kiss to the blonde's cheek and then another one for good measure, nuzzling the soft skin with her nose. Brittany's lips quirked up into a small smile and Santana herself smiled widely in victory. Brittany rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around Santana's waist, holding her close.

Santana sighed contentedly and rested her head on Brittany's shoulder, gently kissing the side of her neck. They lay there in silence for a while. Santana listened to Brittany's steady breathing, the sound was more comforting to her than anything else in the world. After a while, she pulled back to look at Brittany and her heart swelled in her chest when she saw that the other woman had fallen asleep again. She brushed some hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her brow before carefully rolling off her and getting out of bed.

After making sure that Brittany was safely tucked in, she grabbed some clothes and made her way into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

About fifteen minutes later, she walked into the living room. She grabbed her phone that she had left somewhere on the couch and tried to call Miguel, frowning when it went straight to voicemail. She decided to call her dad instead to ask him if he had heard anything from him. Taking a deep breath, she dialed his number and pressed the phone to her ear. Juan picked up after about three rings and Santana greeted him nervously.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

Santana walked over to the window and leaned against the wall, gazing outside. "Not really." She told her dad softly. She bit the inside of her cheek in contemplation before deciding to just go for it. "Have you spoken to Miguel recently?"

"I have." Juan said and Santana could instantly tell that he knew everything. She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for him to continue. "He told me about what happened with Brittany. He's hurt but seems to understand that this was bound to happen with the way things were going between them." Santana slowly opened her eyes, feeling a flutter of hope in her chest. "Brittany left and he doesn't know where she went." He paused. "You don't happen to know where she is, do you?"

Santana swallowed thickly, her palms starting to feel sweaty. "I-I do."

Her grip on her phone tightened as she listened to her dad sigh heavily on the other end of the line. "She's with you, isn't she?"

"Yeah." Santana whispered, as if she was afraid of anyone hearing.

"Mija." Juan sighed again, his tone firm but also sympathetic. "You and Brittany have to tell him the truth. He deserves to know. You owe him that much."

"I know."

"That's why I told him to talk to you." Santana's eyes widened at this. She opened her mouth to protest but her dad continued. "When he came here and told me about what happened, I wanted to tell him everything because I feel horrible about keeping this from him but I knew that it wasn't up to me. He was confused, obviously, but said that he would. I'm surprised he hasn't called you yet."

"Why couldn't you just let me figure it out?" Santana asked, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"What you're asking of me isn't fair, Santana." Juan said sternly. "I've kept quiet long enough."

Santana's demeanour softened. She knew that he was right. Before she had the chance to tell him that, there was a knock on the door and she sighed. "I have to go but I'll call you later."

"Okay." He told her softly. "I love you, mija."

"I love you too."

She ended the phone call and threw her phone back on the couch. More knocks sounded and she rolled her eyes before quickly yanking the door open. Her whole body froze and she was certain that for a moment her heart stopped beating. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she desperately tried to compose herself. Inhaling deeply, she finally managed to squeak out, "Miguel."

"I'm sorry for just dropping by like this." Her brother mumbled as he walked passed her. "But papi told me to talk to you."

"S-So you came all the way to New York?" Santana asked him shakily, closing the door.

"I don't really want to be in Lima right now so I figured coming here might take my mind off things. Don't worry, I'm going to stay in a hotel for a little while so I won't bother you." He said with a shrug, making his way into the kitchen. Santana gulped and followed him, her eyes nervously scanning the apartment. He wasn't supposed to find out this way. Miguel took off his coat and draped it over the back of a chair before taking a seat. "Brittany broke up with me."

Santana just stood there, unable to move. "I'm sorry."

"It didn't really come as a surprise." Miguel said, clasping his hands together in front of him. He looked at her and she could see the glimmer of sadness in his eyes, causing a fresh wave of guilt to wash over her. He offered her a small smile. "Aren't you going to offer me anything to drink? Something strong preferably."

Santana nodded quickly and moved to pour him a drink. Some of the alcohol missed the glass as a result of how badly her hands were shaking. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she timidly shoved the drink in Miguel's direction. "T-There you go."

"Thanks." Miguel mumbled, taking a sip. He looked at her for a moment and his brow furrowed worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Santana pressed her lips together and nodded, trying to stop the nervous fiddling of her hands. She kept glancing in the direction of the bedroom where Brittany was currently sleeping. She had no idea what to do. This was the worst scenario she could've imagined. It felt like she was stuck in some kind of movie where everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong.

Miguel eyed her skeptically but didn't say anything. He took another sip of his drink before setting it down and pushing it around distractedly. "So why did papi tell me to talk to you?"

Santana wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, taking another deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. "I-I…" She started but trailed off, too afraid to form a proper sentence. Miguel was looking at her in concern and she felt miserable. She knew that there was no way out of this. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay." Miguel drawled out, utterly confused. Santana swallowed and prepared herself to speak but froze at the sound of approaching footsteps. Her heartbeat sped up even more as her mind went blank with panic. Miguel narrowed his eyes at the strange look on her face. "What's…"

"San?"

Miguel's head snapped to the side and his eyebrows pinched together at what he saw. "Brittany?"

Brittany abruptly stopped walking and a gasp escaped her lips, all the blood draining from her face. She looked at Santana who was just standing there, her face pale, as if she was about to throw up. Brittany swallowed the lump in her throat and her eyes flickered back to confused brown ones, her voice coming out as a shaky whisper. "Miguel."


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: _Happy new year everyone :) I hope the chapter works this time because something apparently went wrong the first time.

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><p><strong>Chapter 9. <strong>

"What are you doing here?" Miguel asked, sitting up straighter. Brittany just continued to stare at him in shock and his frown deepened. His eyes moved to Santana who had a similiar expression on her face, and back to Brittany. He let her eyes scan her body. She was wearing sweatpants and a simple t-shirt and her hair was messy, as if she had just woken up. All the pieces suddenly fell in place and he clenched his jaw. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

Santana bawled her hands into fists, her short nails digging into her palms painfully as she willed herself to speak. "I'm sorry."

"No." Miguel murmured, shaking his head back and forth. He pushed his chair back and stood up, towering over her. "You wouldn't do this to me."

"I'm so sorry." Santana said pleadingly, tears welling up in her eyes. "We wanted to tell you but we just didn't know how." She reached out for him but he held up his hand and took a step backwards. "It was never my intention to fall in love with Brittany but it just happened and-..."

"How long?" Miguel interrupted her, his nostrils flaring in anger.

"I felt attracted to her from the moment I laid eyes on her." Santana said guiltily, her eyes flickering to Brittany who was still standing there, her bottom lip quivering. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to her but she couldn't do that right now. "I tried to push my feelings away but I just couldn't."

"So you've been lying to me all this time." Miguel concluded, disappointment written all over his features. He slowly nodded his head and grabbed his coat. He turned around and began to make his way to the door. Brittany tried to stop him by grabbing his arm but he shrugged her off and shot her a glare. "You're the last person I want to talk to."

"Miguel please." Santana rushed after him. "I know you're mad but please just let me explain."

"There is nothing to explain." Miguel said before he stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Damn it!" Santana yelled, already searching for her shoes.

Her movements faltered when she felt a hand hesitantly touch her shoulder. It was silent for a moment before Brittany's nervous voice sounded. "San?"

Santana could hear that she was crying and it broke her heart. She wanted to say something to reassure Brittany, anything, but she was too upset to think clearly. She knew that Miguel's reaction would be like this but she had never meant for him to find out like this. The fear that she would lose her brother for good resurfaced and it felt like a punch in the stomach.

"Not now, Brittany." She turned away from her, her voice coming out harsher than intended. She quickly slipped on her shoes and stood upright. "I might have lost my brother for good because of…" She trailed off and harshly bit down on her bottom lip. "I have to go find him."

"San…" Brittany whispered helplessly. "You said you'd fight for us no matter what. That still stands, right?" When Santana didn't respond right away, her hands started to tremble in fear and dread. "Please?"

There were so many things that Santana wanted to say but it seemed like her mouth was incapable of forming the right words. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to do. She just didn't know.

And that's exactly what she told Brittany. "I don't know."

With that, she spun around on her heels and rushed out the door, leaving a terrified Brittany behind.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Santana walked back into her apartment, her shoulders slumped in defeat. She hadn't been able to catch up with Miguel and she had looked everywhere for him but with no success. She didn't know the name of the hotel he was staying at and he wasn't answering his phone.<p>

She wiped away her tears as she leaned against the door for a moment, trying to calm herself. She released a shuddering breath and walked into the living room. There was no sign of Brittany and she frowned in confusion. She made her way into the bedroom but the blonde wasn't there either.

"Britt?" She called out, panic building up inside of her.

When she returned to the living room, a note that was lying on the coffee table caught her eye and she quickly picked it up. Her eyes scanned over the words and her throat constricted tightly when her brain registered what they said.

_I never meant to hurt you, Santana, but I did. Seeing you so upset made me realize that I've caused nothing but trouble in your family. I don't want to come in between you and Miguel. It wouldn't be right. I knew that this was bound to happen but I didn't realize how badly it would hurt me to see you so broken. I love you but it's best to let you go._

_I'm sorry,_

_Brittany._

"No." Santana whispered, tears abruptly springing to her eyes. She clamped her hand over her mouth and dropped the note, stumbling backwards until her legs hit the couch. She tumbled onto it, her heart beating furiously in her chest. Her breathing grew shallow when she thought back to what she had said to Brittany and she had never hated herself more than she did in that moment.

She quickly grabbed her phone and called Brittany but it went straight to voicemail. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried again. "Come on, Britt. Just pick up."

Of course she hadn't meant any of her words. She had just been scared and confused and as a result she had pushed Brittany away, giving her the idea that she was doubting them. Her call was once again directed to voicemail and she groaned in frustration, shoving her phone into her pocket. She buried her face in her hands as a sob erupted from her chest. How had her life become such a mess in such a short period of time? She felt lost and alone and all she could do was curl up in a ball and cry.

That's how Quinn found her a few hours later.

The blonde frowned in confusion and concern when she spotted her best friend and she quickly knelt down beside the couch. It was rare to see Santana in such a vulnerable state and she immediately realized that Brittany must have something to do with it. Lately, Santana had been nothing but stressed and it was hard for Quinn to not start disliking Brittany as she seemed to be the cause of it all.

"Santana?" She whispered, gently smoothing back Santana's hair. The brunette blinked her heavy eyelids open and looked at her with the most heart-breaking expression. Quinn sighed and carefully wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. "Hey, what happened?"

"She's gone." Santana sniffled.

"She's gone?" Quinn repeated, guiding Santana into a seated position.

"Brittany." Santana clarified, swallowing thickly as Quinn sat down next to her. She looked at her best friend who simply nodded, silently encouraging her to continue. "After you left for work, Brittany showed up. She told me that she broke up with Miguel." She paused, biting her lip as she thought of what to say. "For a while everything was perfect. We were together and nothing else in the world mattered."

Quinn couldn't help but smile a bit at the dreamy expression on Santana's face. She placed her hand on her lower back and rubbed the area soothingly. "And then she just left?"

"No." Santana shook her head, her expression falling into an unhappy one. "Miguel showed up." Quinn's eyebrows rose all the way to her hairline when this piece of information was revealed and Santana sighed sadly. "My dad told him that he needed to speak to me and he decided to leave Lima for a while to take his mind off things to that's why he came here."

"And then he found out that Brittany was here too." Quinn said in a low voice, realization washing over her features. Santana nodded timidly. "But that doesn't explain why Brittany left."

"I kind of told her that I wasn't sure if I'm still willing to fight for us." Santana ducked her head, guilt settling in her chest again. She already felt horrible but talking about what happened made her feel ten times worse. Unable to bring herself to say anything else, she picked up the note that she had dropped to the floor and handed it to Quinn.

"It's not too late." Quinn said after she had read it. "She's just scared but it's obvious she loves you. Even this is an act out of love." Her eyes found Santana's and she smiled softly. "I have to admit that I was starting to have my doubts about Brittany but now I'm more sure than ever that this girl is completely, head over heels in love with you and you can't let her go, San."

"But what if she's right?" Santana sighed sadly. "What if it's best to let each other go? Miguel is _so_ mad at me."

"And have it all be for nothing?" Quinn asked, her hazel eyes boring into brown ones. "You've come so far. You both knew that it wouldn't be easy but agreed that it would be worth it. What happened to that?"

"I don't know." Santana mumbled, her shoulders slumping half-heartedly. "I guess doubts and insecurities started setting in."

"Well, like I said, it's not too late." Quinn squeezed her waist in assurance. "All you have to do is talk to her and explain that you didn't mean what you said. Show her that you're still willing to fight for her." She was silent for a moment, making sure that Santana was listening. "And I know things might seem hopeless with Miguel right now but he'll come around. He just needs some time."

Santana glanced down at her hands. "It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"I don't know how to reach her." Santana said softly, tears welling up in her eyes again. "She's not answering her phone and I have no idea where she is. We're only just starting to really get to know each other so I just… I don't even know where to look."

"The Santana Lopez I know would never give up this easy." Quinn told her firmly.

"She didn't fight for me either, Quinn." Santana raised her voice, narrowing her eyes at her best friend. "She just left. She knew that I was upset and not thinking clearly and still she left without even giving me the chance to explain."

"Have you read the note?" Quinn countered calmly. "What happened today opened her eyes to how much she's really coming in between you and your family. Can you really blame her for being upset? I'd feel guilty too if I were her and guilt is such a horrible feeling to deal with."

Santana knew that Quinn was right but she didn't want to think about this anymore. For now at least. She pushed herself into a standing position. "I'm tired."

"So that's it?" Quinn exclaimed in disbelief.

"Just leave me alone, Quinn." Santana mumbled in annoyance, dragging herself towards her bedroom.

She heard Quinn say some words of protest but she tuned her out. She closed her bedroom door behind her and threw herself on her bed. Clutching her phone to her chest, she curled up on her side and allowed her tears to flow freely. "Damn it, Brittany." She whispered to nobody but herself. "Don't give up on us now."

* * *

><p>The following day, Santana couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. Her head was pounding from all the crying that she had done and her whole body was aching. But that was nothing compared to the heavy feeling that weighed down on her chest. She hadn't been able to reach Brittany and she couldn't possibly feel more helpless.<p>

"Get out of bed." Quinn suddenly stormed into her room.

Santana groaned and buried her face further into her pilow. "Go away."

"Do you have any idea how late it is?" Quinn asked as she ripped open the curtains. She made her way over to Santana's side and looked down at her, shaking her head in disapproval. "I know you're hurting but you can't just hide yourself away from the world."

"I don't care." Came Santana's muffled reply.

"Did you call in sick?" Quinn arched an eyebrow at her, placing her hands on her hips.

Santana groaned again and slightly lifted her head to glare at Quinn. "It's none of your business, Quinn. Just leave me alone."

"You know, you could've used all these wasted hours to do something useful." Quinn told her with a blank expression that only made Santana feel more annoyed. "Like, look for Brittany and talk to her. Stop acting so pathetic and focus on making things right instead because this isn't doing anyone any good."

"Fuck you." Santana snapped.

"You know I'm right." Quinn said as she began to make her way to the door. "I'm meeting up with someone so I'll be back later. Have fun drowning in self pity."

Santana huffed angrily and threw one of the pillows on the her bed in her direction. She let her head drop back on her pillow and closed her eyes, willing herself to not start crying again. Deep down she knew that Quinn was right but she had no idea where to start and the truth was that she was afraid of what would happen if she found Brittany. The thought of losing her scared her more than anything.

She listened to Quinn move around the apartment until finally the door slammed shut. She let out a deep sigh and tried to go back to sleep. Images of Brittany entered her mind once again and she rolled her eyes at herself. She stayed in the same position for a little while longer before reluctantly dragging herself out of bed.

She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a drink before gulping it down in one go. She grabbed the bottle and slumped down on the couch in the living room. Her thoughts were a mess and she just wanted her mind to go blank. Even if it was just for a little while. She knew that alcohol wasn't the answer to her problems but she didn't know what was. All she knew was that she loved Brittany and that she wanted to be with her somehow. She just wanted to hold her in her arms and fall asleep together but that wasn't an option. So she settled for the best next thing which was to just forget about everything.

* * *

><p>The first thing Santana registered was the pain in her head. She winced and squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She could vaguely hear someone's voice but she couldn't focus on what they were saying. Her throat felt dry and her stomach was churning uncomfortably. She licked her lips and blinked a few times, trying to clear her blurry vision.<p>

"Santana?"

Santana whimpered and slowly lifted her head, the world around her slowly coming into focus. Her whole faced scrunched up in confusion when she saw the face of the person who was hovering over her. She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again but nothing changed.

"I told you to just talk to her." Santana's eyes moved to where the second voice had come from and she saw Quinn standing there with a concerned expression on her face. "You have all the right to be mad but Santana isn't doing this to hurt you. Just remember that."

Santana whimpered and placed her hand on her forehead. She felt a hand smooth back her hair and a moment later she was being lifted off the couch. "Let's get you to bed." A deep voice told her. Santana's face crumbled as her emotions overwhelmed her and she began to cry quietly. Her mouth began to form words but she was hushed gently. "We'll talk later."

"I'm sorry." She whispered anyway. "I'm so sorry."

"I know." She was placed on her bed and Quinn pulled the covers over her.

Santana sniffled miserably and reached for the person who meant so much to her. "I'm sorry but I'm not sorry for loving her." Her words were slurred and she had a hard time focusing but she didn't care. She had to get this off her chest. "She left but I-I won't give up."

"Just go to sleep, Santana. We'll talk in the morning."

She felt the bed dip with additional weight and she turned her head to see Quinn sitting next to her. The blonde smiled sadly and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. "He's right. You're drunk so let's just wait with this until tomorrow, okay?" She waited for Santana to nod, chuckling softly when the brunette's eyes were already beginning to droop. "Good night."

Santana didn't respond. She was already fast asleep.

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><p>The next morning, Santana slowly walked into the kitchen, tiredly rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her head hurt and she briefly contemplated going back to bed but all those thoughts flew out the window when her eyes locked with familiar brown ones. She swallowed thickly when she realized that she hadn't imagined the events of the previous night.<p>

"Hi Santana." Miguel greeted her from his place at the counter.

Santana felt heat rush to her face as her heart-rate sped up. She looked at Quinn who shot her a reassuring smile before she reluctantly took a few steps in her brother's direction. The expression on his face was blank and she honestly didn't know what to think. Her hands felt clammy as panic began to build up inside of her.

Was he here to tell her that he never wanted to see her again?

"Hi." She finally choked out.

Miguel gestured to the seat beside him. "Sit down."

It was weird being told what to do in her own home but she did so anyway. Once she was seated, she nervously fiddled with her fingers, ducking her head to avoid Miguel's gaze. She took a deep breath in preperation and spoke softly. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Miguel told her simply.

A few agonizing moments of silence passed until Santana couldn't stand it anymore. She slowly lifted her head to look Miguel in the eye, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Look, I know that you're mad at me and I completely understand why but if you're here to yell at me then please… just don't, okay?" Miguel looked ready to interrupt but she didn't let him. "I know you probably never want to see me again and on top of that I also might've lost Brittany for good so the world is already punishing me for my stupid mistakes if that makes you feel any better."

"Of course that doesn't make me feel any better." Miguel replied, his brow furrowing. He let out a sigh and turned towards her. "Yes I'm mad. You lied to me and it hurts." Santana guiltily glanced away and he was quick to continue. "But I also know that Brittany didn't just break up with me because of you. Even if she had never met you, she still would've broken up with me because our relationship wasn't working. It's as simple as that."

Santana pursed her lips and nodded slowly. "Will you ever forgive me?"

"Eventually." Miguel told her, sending her a sad look.

"Just please know that I never meant to hurt you." Santana said, her voice shaky as her throat constricted tightly. "I tried to push my feelings away, I really did, but it was just impossible. We tried to avoid each other, we tried to be just friends, but our feelings for each other are too strong to run away from." She sighed and glanced down at her hands, her lips curling up into a tired, defeated smile. "You can't help who you fall in love with."

Miguel was silent for a long time before he replied. "I know you didn't do this to hurt me. It's the lying that really upset me. I don't know if I can trust you anymore, Santana."

Santana's shoulders drooped. "So what now?"

"Now you need to find Brittany and you need to talk to her." Miguel said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and Santana froze in shock. She turned to face her brother, licking her suddenly dry lips as she stuttered out a reply.

"W-What?"

"Look Santana, I'm not happy with the way things have gone and yes I'm angry and hurt but I can also see that your love for Brittany is genuine." He paused and looked at her for a second. Santana glanced away, feeling small under his intense gaze. This was the last thing she had been expecting and she didn't know how to respond. So she just listened. "I want you to be happy and seeing you so broken last night hurt me even more. I'm not ready to forgive you yet but I would never forgive myself if I let you be in pain and didn't do anything to stop it."

"So you're helping me?" Santana asked, her eyes finding Quinn who smiled reassuringly.

"You're still my baby sister, Santana." Miguel shot her a tight-lipped smile. "And I think I have a pretty good idea of where to find Brittany."

Santana felt her throat constrict with emotion and it was suddenly hard for her to speak. She swallowed a few times before finally whispering a shaky, "Thank you."

"Like I said, this doesn't mean that I forgive you." Miguel replied, his voice hardening. "I'll help you find Brittany but after that I'll need some time to myself. I need to get my thoughts in order before I can even consider allowing you back into my life."

Santana gave him a barely visible nod in reply. "I understand."

"So how do we fix this mess?" Quinn spoke up for the first time, taking a step in their direction.

"I'm pretty sure that Brittany went to her aunt's place." Miguel explained, looking at the blonde. "Her sister lives in LA and they barely talk so I doubt she went there. She doesn't have any other family and most of her friends are out of town for the holidays."

"We need to book a flight to Lima then." Santana said, already glancing around in search for her laptop.

"Good luck with that." Quinn let out a sarcastic chuckle. "It's New Year's Eve today, it's probably a mess at the airport. Probably the same for the train station."

"Then how do we get there?" Santana asked in a small voice, the flutter of hope that had risen in her chest quickly disappearing again. "Driving will take all day."

"Well then you better get on the road." Miguel told her, flashing her a small smile that instantly made her feel better. He got to his feet and crossed the slight distance between them before leaning down to give her a quick hug, taking her by a surprise. "I can't come with you. I'm sure you can understand that."

Santana closed her eyes for a moment. "I do."

"I'll write down the address for you." Miguel said as he pulled away.

Santana blinked her eyes open when a thought suddenly hit her. "What if she's not there?"

"Then give me a call and we'll search further." Miguel gave her shoulder a soft squeeze. He turned around and quickly found a piece of paper. He wrote down the address and handed it to her, earning an appreciative smile. "I guess I'll be heading out then."

Santana's face fell as a sad feeling once again washed over her. "When will I see you again?"

"I really don't know." Miguel said, putting on his coat. "But please respect that I need time. I'll be the one to contact you when I'm ready. I just can't be around you or Brittany right now." His features softened when he saw the broken expression on Santana's face. "This isn't a goodbye, I promise."

Santana didn't say anything but the racing of her heart slowed down at his words as a subtle sigh of relief escaped her lips. She watched as Miguel said goodbye to Quinn, nodding slowly with a small smile on his face as the blonde spoke softly. "You're a good guy, Miguel."

With one last glance in Santana's direction, he left the apartment, leaving a deafening silence behind. Santana just sat there for a while, feeling Quinn's eyes burn holes into the side of her head, before she finally jumped up.

"Are you coming?" She asked Quinn as she began to gather her things.

"Of course I am." Quinn replied, not moving just yet. "You might want to change your clothes though."

Santana glanced down at herself and cursed under her breath when she saw that she was still in her pajama's. She glared at Quinn when her friend let out a quiet chuckle before she quickly began to make her way towards her bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: _Hi :) I'm sorry about the wait. Life got in the way. Here's the last chapter. I'll probably add an epilogue at some point but I'm not sure when. Thanks for everyone's comments. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 10. <strong>

"Santana, will you calm down?" Quinn sighed, momentarily tearing her eyes off the road to glare at Santana who was bouncing her leg up and down in the seat beside her. They had been on the road for a while now and the brunette's nervous behavior was starting to make her nervous too.

"I'm freaking out over here." Santana whined dramatically. "What if she's not there? What if we're driving all the way to Lima for nothing? What if-"

"Santana!" Quinn interrupted her with a roll of her eyes. "If she's not there then we'll continue to look for her, okay? But you're paying for gas."

Santana let out a deep breath as her shoulders drooped and she slumped further into her seat. She knew that Quinn was right and there was no point in getting herself worked up like this but she couldn't help it. She just needed to speak to Brittany and make things right. Biting her lip, she turned her head to stare out of the window. "I just really need to find her."

Quinn's features softened. "I know."

"I'm sorry for ruining your day." Santana mumbled, shoving her hands into the front pocket of her sweater to stop her nervous fiddling. "I'm sure you hadn't planned on spending your New Year's Eve stuck with me."

"Don't worry about it." Quinn told her. "You're my best friend. Your happiness matters to me."

Santana scrunched up her nose in fake disgust. "Don't go all sentimental on me."

"Oh shut up." Quinn smirked, slapping Santana's arm. "You're lucky to have me."

Santana's lips curled up into a smile and she looked at Quinn for a moment before sighing and glancing away again. "I know I am. I really appreciate this, Quinn." She puffed out her cheeks to hide the blush creeping over them. "And also thanks for everything else."

Quinn immediately caught onto what she was referring to. "Miguel will come around, San. Just give him some time."

Santana nodded but decided to stay quiet. She understood why Miguel didn't want to be around her right now and she respected his decision. Knowing that she was the reason behind his pain made her feel extremely guilty but there was nothing she could do about it except give him the space he needed. The fact that he had helped her find Brittany reassured her that he would be willing to forgive her eventually.

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><p>The drive to Lima seemed to be endless. That's what it felt like to Santana at least. They stopped for gas and for dinner but besides that, Santana insisted on traveling as fast as possible. Quinn didn't protest. She stayed calm and offered Santana words of comfort when she got nervous again. It worked most of the time but when they finally arrived in Lima late at night, Santana's nerves had skyrocketed.<p>

"Oh god what if she doesn't even want to talk to me?" She rambled, her eyes rapidly darting from house to house as they turned into the street where Brittany's aunt lived. "What if she was serious about letting each other go? I can't lose her, Quinn. She's the best thing that ever happened to me even though the circumstances sucked."

"You won't know until you've tried." Quinn said.

Santana sighed shakily. "What if she's not home? It's New Year's Eve after all. She probably has plans. Oh my god I'm such an idiot."

"Stop driving yourself insane with all these what ifs." Quinn slightly raised her voice in an attempt to get through to her. It didn't take long for her to find the right address and she parked the car before turning to face Santana. "Here it is."

"I don't know if I can do this." Santana whispered, her heart beating furiously in her chest. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this nervous. It felt like she was about to throw up at any moment. She clenched her hands into her fists, trying to stop them from shaking too badly. "Maybe we should just go home."

"Hey, Santana, look at me." Quinn ordered gently, feeling bad for her best friend. She knew how much Brittany meant to her and seeing her so nervous was actually kind of endearing. She waited until brown eyes met her own before smiling softly. "I know you're scared but you've come all this way for a reason. If you don't try to talk to Brittany now, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life."

Santana swallowed thickly. "You're right."

"And remember, you've got nothing to lose." Quinn added, placing her hand on Santana's shoulder to give it a soft squeeze. "It'll be okay. Just trust yourself."

"Thanks Quinn." Santana replied quietly, her heartbeat slowing down to a somewhat normal pace.

Quinn grinned and retracted her hand. "Now go get your girl."

Santana inhaled deeply in preparation before she forced herself to get out of the car. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she took in the sight in front of her. Brittany's aunt lived in a normal sized house. The lights were on which meant that at least someone was home. She felt a flutter of hope in her chest but her nerves quickly took over again and her palms became clammy. She briefly closed her eyes, willing herself to move, before she finally began to walk on shaky legs.

When she reached the front door, she realized that she had been holding her breath. She let the air escape her lungs in one long exhale, forcing herself not to overthink things too much. It was already too late for that though. She suddenly realized that she had no idea what she was going to say to Brittany and she couldn't help but wonder if all of this was a bad idea.

She glanced back at Quinn who was waiting in the car and the blonde gave her an encouraging nod. Deciding to just go for it, she raised her hand only to drop it back down a second later. She mentally slapped herself for being such a nervous wreck. Before she had the chance to decide on what to do next, the door was yanked open and she stumbled backwards in surprise.

"Can I help you?" A tall blonde woman asked. Santana noticed the similarities between her and Brittany and she realized this this must be her aunt. She cleared her throat and tried to answer the question but she couldn't get any words out. The woman arched an eyebrow at her. "I was starting to think you were never going to ring the doorbell so I decided to help you out."

"I'm sorry." Santana squeaked out, although she wasn't quite sure what she was apologizing for.

"Can I help you?" The woman repeated her earlier question.

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat as her eyes hesitantly flickered up to meet blue ones. She noticed that they weren't as bright and sparkly as Brittany's. "I-I'm looking for Brittany."

"I see." She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes, making Santana cringe slightly and lower her eyes to her feet again. "So you must be Santana. The reason why my niece showed up on my doorstep yesterday, crying her eyes out."

Santana felt her heart clench painfully in her chest. The thought of Brittany crying hurt her but knowing that she was the one who had made her cry made everything ten times worse. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself, and spoke as evenly as possible. "I don't blame you if you hate me, ma'am, but I really need to speak to Brittany." Brittany's aunt didn't look impressed so she continued, her voice growing more steady as she allowed her passion to seep into them. "Hurting her was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I wish that I could go back and change things but I can't and it sucks because I love her more than anything and being with her feels _so_ right. I messed up, I know I did, and I can come up with a million excuses but it won't make a difference."

Brittany's aunt sighed and her demeanour softened slightly but she didn't speak.

"I love her." Santana continued with a helpless shrug of her shoulders. "All I'm asking for is one last chance to show her that I'm willing to put everything that I have into making things work between us."

"Look, Santana." Brittany's aunt began in a serious tone, making Santana gulp. "I'm not sure what happened between you and Britt. She was really upset yesterday and she refused to talk to me. All that I got out of her was your name." Santana guiltily glanced down at her hands, feeling tears well up in her eyes. This wasn't going as expected. Then again, she didn't really know what she had been expecting. "I can't risk having you hurt her again."

"I can't promise that I'll never hurt her again." Santana's voice cracked as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. "Because I can't predict the future. However, I can promise you that if I'm lucky enough to get a second chance, I'll love and protect her with all my heart."

The seconds of silence that followed were the longest seconds of Santana's life. She had never felt so vulnerable before. If she didn't get one more chance to talk to Brittany, she would never forgive herself. They had only known each other for a little while but yet she knew that she wanted Brittany to be in her life forever.

"She's not here." Brittany's aunt finally told her and Santana's eyes snapped up. She frowned in confusion, all the hope that had previously been running through her body disappearing almost instantly. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but she didn't know what to say. She felt hopeless. Brittany's aunt must've sensed what she was thinking because she continued. "But I can tell you where she is."

Santana let out a shuddering breath of relief, a shaky smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "Thank you."

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><p>"I'll wait in the car." Quinn told her softly.<p>

Santana nodded, her hands nervously twisting in her lap as she glanced out of the window. It was dark outside and she could barely see anything which scared her a little. She took a few deep breaths, gathering courage, before she finally got out of the car. Pulling her coat tighter around her body, she slowly began to walk, her breaths leaving her mouth in small puffs as a result of the cold.

Her brown eyes curiously scanned her surroundings as she began to walk through the rows of stones. The cemetery was quiet and pretty much deserted but it still took her a while to find Brittany. Her breath caught in her throat when she finally spotted a flash of blonde hair and she abruptly stopped walking. Brittany was kneeling in front of one of the stones, her back turned to her.

Santana suddenly felt bad for being here. It was such a personal moment and she didn't want to intrude. Still, she cautiously took a few steps closer. She watched as Brittany reached out and carefully ran her fingers over the inscription on the stone. She bit her lip, feeling her heart clench tightly in her chest. The thought of Brittany being in any type of pain and her not being able to comfort her made her feel so helpless.

Taking another step closer, Santana felt a twig crack under her foot before she heard it. She mentally slapped herself when Brittany whipped around, her wide blue eyes meeting her own. Santana swallowed nervously and tried to offer the blonde a small smile but it came out as a grimace instead. Brittany mostly looked surprised but there was also a hint of something else in her eyes that Santana couldn't quite pinpoint. She stared at her for a while, before a shaky breath left her lips and she spoke.

"Come here."

Her voice was barely above a whisper but Santana heard her loud and clear. Her jaw dropped slightly and her brow furrowed in confusion. She took a moment to compose herself before closing the distance between them. When she reached Brittany's side, she couldn't help but feel awkward with the way she was towering over her.

"I want you to meet them." Brittany said quietly, glancing up to look her in the eyes. Santana wasn't sure of what to do so she was relieved when Brittany curled her fingers around the sleeve of her coat and gently tugged her down. She knelt down beside her, chewing on her bottom lip in thought as she waited patiently for Brittany to speak. "Mom and dad, I'd like you to meet Santana."

"Hi." Santana whispered, her heart racing in her chest. She had no idea what was happening. She had expected Brittany to be mad at her so to say that she was surprised would be an understatement.

"I don't visit them a lot." Brittany said, her voice laced with guilt. Santana wanted to reach out and comfort her but she didn't know if Brittany wanted her to. She clenched her hands into fists to stop herself from moving and instead just sat there and listened as Brittany spoke in a sad tone that broke her heart. "It just hurts too much I guess. It makes me feel bad though. I don't want them to think that I've forgotten about them."

"I'm sure they know that, Britt." Santana replied gently when Brittany had been silent for a while. "I'm sure they know you always carry them with you in your thoughts. In your heart."

Brittany nodded slowly and tentatively reached out to take Santana's hand in her own. Santana felt her heartbeat speed up even more. Brittany ran her thumb over Santana's palm and the brunette's lips quirked up into a small smile at the warm feeling that Brittany's touch ignited within her body. She shuffled a little closer to her until their thighs met.

"How did you find me?" Brittany broke the silence.

"Your aunt told me you were here." Santana informed her, tightening her hold on her hand. Brittany shot her a confused look so she explained. "After you left, Quinn convinced Miguel to talk to me. He told me you were probably at your aunt's place."

"Miguel helped you?" Brittany asked, her nose scrunching up in the most adorable way.

"Yeah he did." Santana smiled sadly, placing her other hand on top of Brittany's as well. She didn't want to risk Brittany pulling away. "He's mad at me, hurt mostly, but he can see that I really love you and I guess that was reason enough for him to help me find you."

Brittany's eyes flickered away and Santana could see the guilt in them. "I'm sorry."

"_Hey_, no, you've got nothing to apologize for." Santana soothed her, squeezing her hand gently when she attempted to pull away like the brunette had already predicted. She dipped her head down in an attempt to catch Brittany's gaze but to no avail. "Britt? Can we please talk about this?"

"Okay but not here."

Santana nodded in understanding and reluctantly let go of her hand. She stood up and slightly backed away to offer Brittany some privacy to say goodbye to her parents. After a few minutes, the blonde stood up as well and they slowly began to make their way towards the exit. Their hands brushed against each other as they walked but neither of them dared to do more than that.

"I'm so sorry for what I said to you." Santana was finally the one to speak up. They came to a stop and turned to face each other. Brittany wasn't looking at her though and Santana felt a painful squeezing in her heart. "I was just scared and upset and not thinking clearly. Of course I'm still willing to fight for you. I'll always be willing to fight for you."

"San, I'm not mad at you." Brittany replied softly, scuffing her foot on the pavement.

"W-What?" Santana stammered, confused.

"I was never mad at you." Brittany told her with a helpless shrug of her shoulders. "I knew that you were just upset. I never blamed you for that." She paused and nervously looked up to meet Santana's eyes. The brunette smiled encouragingly and she breathed out slowly. "I didn't leave because of what you said. I left because you were hurt and knowing that I could've done something to prevent it made me feel sick."

"Brittany…" Santana tried to interrupt but the taller woman shook her head.

"No Santana, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you." Brittany's bottom lip quivered as tears welled up in her eyes. Santana's breathing faltered and she took a step closer to her. "I'm the one who didn't fight for you even though I said that I would. I just left as soon as things got hard. I guess… I guess that I'm not as strong as I thought I was." She furiously wiped at her eyes as the first tears escaped them, her face crumbling. "I'm sorry."

"Brittany." Santana said again, reaching out to cup both of Brittany's cheeks in her hands. Her eyes met the saddest pools of blue she had ever seen and she had to fight back her own tears. "I know that you feel guilty about what happened with Miguel but you don't have to. I chose to be with you. I knew what I was getting myself into. It's not your fault."

"But it is." Brittany squeezed her eyes shut, causing more tears to spill over. "If you had never met me then you wouldn't be in this mess right now. I ruined the relationship between you and your brother. I feel _so_ bad."

"Can't you see that you're the best thing that ever happened to me?" Santana whispered, stroking her thumbs over Brittany's cheeks. She realized how desperate her voice sounded but she couldn't bring herself to care. "Honey, please listen to me." Brittany slowly blinked her eyes open and Santana shot her a warm, trembling smile. "What would you have done if we had met under different circumstances and you wouldn't have to worry about all this?"

Brittany's eyes darted around her face, taking in every inch, before she spoke confidently. "I'd never let you go. I'd spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as possible because that's all I want for you, San. I just want you to be happy."

"_You_ make me happy." Santana said urgently, resting their foreheads together. "I don't care about anything else. I just want to be with you. I just want to wake up next to you every day. I know you're scared and even if you're not ready now, I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you forever because I don't want anyone but you."

Brittany looked at her intently and Santana could see she was deep in thought. Suddenly, she crashed their lips together as she reached up and curled her hand around the back of Santana's neck. Santana let out a groan of surprise but kissed her back just as eagerly. All worries left her mind and she suddenly felt like everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be. Kissing Brittany was like coming home and she didn't want to leave, ever.

It ended way too soon for her liking though when Brittany pulled away, panting softly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Santana asked, gently brushing a strand of hair behind the blonde's ear.

"I want to be with you too, Santana." Brittany breathed out, her blue eyes boring into hers. Santana smiled shakily, shifting even closer to her. Brittany squeezed her eyes shut, a painful expression on her face. "But I'm not just scared, I'm terrified. Your family… I really like them. They were so welcoming but San, they'll hate me because of this."

"Stop thinking about other people." Santana pressed their foreheads together again, nudging Brittany's nose with her own. Blue eyes slowly fluttered open and Santana felt herself getting lost in them again. She sighed gently. "Stop worrying about what other people will think and focus on your own happiness. What is your heart telling you?"

"My heart wants you." Brittany whispered, her eyes more open and trusting than ever.

Santana smiled, wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist to hold her close. "I love you so much, Britt. I drove all the way to Lima because I don't want to spend another day without you." Tears sprang abruptly to her eyes as the reality of situation suddenly hit her. Her throat constricted so tightly that she struggled to get her next words out. "Please don't make me spend another day without you."

"Santana…" Brittany cooed, reaching up to place her hand on Santana's cheek. "I don't want to spend another day without you either but we have to be realistic." Santana's face fell and she couldn't hold back the tears that she had desperately been trying to control. Brittany tried to wipe them away but they just kept coming. "My life is here. Yours is in New York. We didn't think things through."

"But you've always wanted to aim higher." Santana protested, curling her fingers around Brittany's wrist to hold the hand that was still pressed against her cheek in place. "You said so yourself. You've always wanted to move to the big city but were never brave enough to do it." She looked at her for a moment, silently begging her to understand. "Be brave with me."

Brittany tugged her quivering bottom lip between her teeth, her heart breaking at how vulnerable Santana looked. There were so many thoughts going through her mind that she couldn't keep up. She wanted to speak but no words seemed right. Santana took her silence as rejection. She stumbled backwards, out of Brittany's embrace, and slowly shook her head back and forth.

"Okay I-I understand." She stuttered, letting her trembling hands drop to her sides. She couldn't meet Brittany's eyes. She had to swallow a few times before she could speak, her voice wavering uncontrollably. "I-I'll always wait for you."

With that, she forced herself to turn around and began to walk away. She had tried. That was all she could do. Still, tears streamed down her face steadily. It felt like someone had literally ripped her heart out of her chest. She was having trouble breathing, as if all the air had been sucked from the atmosphere. Was this really happening?

"Wait."

Santana stopped walking. She stood there frozen, afraid that she had heard wrong. She closed her eyes when footsteps came closer to her. Was she just imagining this? Had Brittany forgotten to tell her something else that would break her heart even more? She didn't know and right now she didn't even want to know. She just wanted to go home, curl up in bed and cry for at least a month.

"Okay." Santana's eyes opened at this but she didn't dare turn around. "Okay I'll be brave with you."

Santana lifted her head but she was still too scared to face Brittany. "What?"

"You're right, Santana." Brittany said softly as she walked even closer to the brunette. "I'm being a coward. I don't want to worry about other people anymore. I just want to worry about you and me." She closed the remaining distance between them and was now directly standing behind the shorter woman. "I just want you."

Santana finally turned around and threw her arms around Brittany's neck, pulling her into a tight hug. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's waist, burying her face against her shoulder and inhaling her scent. She listened to Santana's breathing and sniffled, closing her eyes and savouring the moment. Holding Santana like this felt more right than anything and she wouldn't trade it for the world.

"Are you serious?" Santana whispered into Brittany's ear before placing a gentle kiss behind it. Brittany tightened her arms around her and nodded against her shoulder. "I need to know if you won't change your mind again, Britt, because I won't be able to handle losing you twice."

"I'm yours." Brittany reassured her, her face still hidden. She didn't want the moment to end just yet. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I let my fears get the best of me but I'm sure, now more than ever, that I belong with you and I don't want to let you go ever again."

"Good." Santana said with a watery smile as they finally pulled away slightly to face each other. "Because you're stuck with me."

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

Santana grinned and pulled her into a kiss, their lips falling together perfectly. She ran her hands up and down Brittany's sides before stopping at her hands, intertwining their fingers. As they ran out of oxygen, Santana reluctantly pulled away, swinging their hands back and forth in between them. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

"Okay." Brittany agreed with a small smile.

"Until then, stay with me?" Santana asked hopefully. "I don't want to be so far away from you. Quinn won't mind."

A smile lit up Brittany's features and she nodded before pressing another kiss to Santana's lips. It was short and simple but the love that she poured into it made Santana dizzy. As their eyes met again, they didn't say anything. They just looked at each other, as if they were having a silent conversation, before Santana began to lead Brittany towards the car.

Quinn was leaning against it, having gotten bored waiting inside, and her eyes lit up when she saw them. "That took you long enough."

"Shut up, Fabray." Santana said with a playful roll of her eyes, leading Brittany closer. She could feel that the blonde was nervous and she gently rubbed her thumb over her palm, trying to calm her down. "Britt, this is my best friend Quinn."

"Hello Quinn." Brittany greeted her timidly, fighting the urge to hide behind Santana. She knew Quinn was protective of Santana and she could be really intimidating.

Quinn smirked when Brittany didn't even offer her her hand, obviously scared. "Don't worry, I won't hold whatever happened between you and Santana against you because it's none of my business." Brittany relaxed slightly but Quinn had to add one more thing. "Just don't hurt her again."

Brittany felt her cheeks heat up and she nodded quickly. Santana slowly ran her hand up and down the blonde's arm before resting it on her hip, pulling her into her. Brittany couldn't stop the content sigh that escaped her lips, happy to be this close to Santana again. Quinn smiled at their cute interaction before she glanced at her watch. "What now? It's almost midnight."

"We could go to my aunt's place." Brittany suggested shyly. "Watch the ball drop on TV."

This wasn't exactly how Quinn had imagined spending her New Year's Eve but when she saw the happiness in her best friend's eyes, she didn't care about anything besides that. She shrugged and nodded. "Sounds good to me."

Quinn took a seat behind the wheel while Santana and Brittany cuddled up in the back seat, not wanting to let go of each other. Normally Quinn would've teased Santana about her behaviour but tonight she decided to let her be. She had never seen Santana this in love before and she could honestly say that she was happy that the brunette had met Brittany. She allowed them to have their moment of peace and quiet and kept her mouth shut.

Santana rested her head on Brittany's shoulder, sighing happily as she glanced outside.

She knew that there was still a lot of figuring out to do but when she got her midnight kiss from Brittany an hour later, she knew that everything would work out perfectly.

**The end.**


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